In my description i put that I have 3 beautiful girls, they are 8, almost 4, and soon to be 6. We have a normal but challenging lifestyle where my 8 year old has Autism & ADHD, and my almost 4 year old has a Development Delay which makes her like she’s 2.5. After having her in March of 2012 my husband and I decided we wanted another, just one more we said. So, in June 2012 we started our journey TTC #4 well my periods were very irregular and never came back till January 2013. Doctors couldn’t give me answers as to why and not only did they come back but they didn’t come for 60 days apart. I truly thought it was my fault like I was doing something wrong. So, I started to eat right and dropped the pop and hoped for a miracle. In September 2013 my periods returned to normal every 35 days. I was so excited and thought now we can try. In November 2013 I got my first positive test only to find out a few weeks later nothing was growing and it was my first chemical pregnancy. I was devastated. I went home and went through every baby thing I owed and didn’t need I purged and gave or sold to ones that needed it. My husband just didn’t understand. He was confused and angry, and after my next cycle we were able to TTC again. A year later we conceived again, in November and that was also short lived because again, a week or so later I started bleeding and cramping. The pain was unbearable and I found myself having yet another chemical miscarriage. At this point, I knew we needed help. We had also moved twice in the short period of time and my body was tired and I was tired…. I just didn’t understand! AGAIN! I said to the ER doctor. AGAIN!! Why!? Why is this happening to us. We have three girls and now I can’t have an actually pregnancy. All he could say was I am sorry and sent us on our merry way. So, we took a month break because I needed it. Our families weren’t really in the know of what was going on because they all believed we have enough on our plate why add so, we kept it a secret and with no one to talk to was becoming really hard for the both of us to handle.
January 2015
It’s been almost 3 years and no baby. This is the longest we have ever gone without a little one. I felt like the baby phase was pretty much done for us and I was losing hope. So, I made an appointment to see my OB that delivered my two youngest girls and with the last bit of hope, I put my trust in her. I took the 2 hour drive down to see her and explained my story of the last 3 years and 2 miscarriages. She told me that I probably was ovulating properly and she said I can help you. She gave us Femara a fertility drug that helped with ovulation. She explained to me how to use it and that it would cost out of pocket but at this point, I didn’t care. Anything, anything that could help us. She also explained that I needed to start to chart my cycle and test using an ovulation tester. So, I prepared myself since I was already half done my cycle in February.
March 2015
My first cycle on Femara was horrible, the drug made me the most bitches, moodiest person. I couldn’t stand people, I couldn’t stand being me! but we got through it and I actually ovulated CD19 I saw that smiley face and then came the TWW, it didn’t work. I didn’t conceive but she told us that it may take 2 maybe even 5 cycles to get pregnant. So, off we went again.