Easter 2015 🐰 & Happy Birthday Piglet !

Easter 2015

Easter 2015

We decided to go to the trailer for Easter with the family. We went for Thursday night till Sunday night. The Easter Bunny was great to the girls and they have fun playing with their cousins and they learned how to play different card games since we had no tv and it was too cold to go outside to play.

I hope everyone had a safe and Happy Easter and a great time with family!!


Mar. 29th, 2015 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER!!!
I can't believe she is 4 already, I mean I wish I could stop time and just live in that moment.  It makes me sad to think that she won't be home with me starting July when she enters school. I'll be alone and lost. I have been blessed with being able to stay home with my girls and have my husband working. I have been blessed to watch all of them begin crawling, walking and talking. We have now entered the Potty Training phase and it has not been going well no matter what I do. She gets it and then doesn't get it. I guess it is just something that comes with time. I have been blessed to be able to co-sleep for 4 years, not that it was the plan but is just something we did and have been doing since she was born and I love every minute of it.

We did to birthdays for her one with my parents and one with his family since we were at the trailer and my parents couldn't be there.

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GYNO/OBYGN Dr. Appointment & CD1

Feb. 25th, 2015

 Today I met the second person in my journey to baby and that was the Gyno/Obgyn that will be taking me on from now, when i achieve pregnancy and then till 12 or 13 weeks. She was nice and the team she has working there is awesome. We discuss what her plans were for me and what she wanted to do before I got pregnant. She wanted me to do my Cycle Monitoring and for those who don't know what that is, basically when you receive CD 1 -which is your first Full Day of bleeding- you call the nurse line and let them know and they will call you back and tell you to come in first time so, 7am CD2 to get blood and an ultrasound. Then she also want me to have a Hysteroscopy - which is where they place a thin camera and a bunch of water of your vagina, into the uterus to get a good look at your insides to make sure there is no scare tissue, blockages, pulp-ups, or fibroids.  I also have a number of blood work to get done and my husband and I have genetic testing at the Hospital to do as well. Follow-up appointment to be scheduled. 

CD1 - 17th of March, 2015. Went for Ultrasound and Blood work. Results unknown. 

Hysteroscopy- 24th of March, 2015. According to the Male dr. that did it, my uterus is as smooth as butter and there is no blockage. 

What just happened!?

Jan. 25th, 2015

So my youngest woke up last night around 1am in her sleep and looks kinda at me kinda forward towards our kitchen. At first I thought she was still sleeping and then she sat there for a good 7 minutes not saying anything just sitting there. I called her no response waited called her again and finally she looked at me and started talking juberish and then came over and started making more sense.
Essentially her "bad dem" was about a giant minion who got into the house and took her to Walmart came back and tried to eat Panda "her cat" and then ate her.
She's never really told me about a dream and she's only even done the unresponsive thing once before a few years ago. I know I should be concerned but seriously this was her first bad dream she could tell me about. I'm very impressed.

This didn't sit well with me so, I am taking her to her PEDS and getting her check-out. Once I told the PED. what happened he was very sure it was an absent Seizure and wants us to go for an EEG and see the Neurologist.

EKG & Echo

Feb. 17, 2015

Had my EKG and Echo today. Everything came back fine and great for going forward. There is nothing wrong with my heart that they can see at this point.

👍🏼 For good news!!

Scentsy World Tour - Toronto

Feb. 5th-7th

This weekend is our World Tour and I am so excited. I have never been to anything Scentsy so the fact that my husband and I are able to go is amazing. We left the girls with my parents and we stayed the at Sheraton Centre Toronto -again- from Friday Evening to Sunday Morning. I love every minute of it except the part my husband decided to leave and go back to the room -but I'll get in to that shortly-.

So, we arrived Friday Evening and we met so many Scentsy Consultants from other Teams and different parts of Ontario. We also, decided to hit up the Disney Store, as our youngest had ben asking for Big Mac from Disney Cars for the longest time and we wanted to see if he was still there from our last visit. Unfortunately, the one we saw just before Christmas was a Christmas Special and sold out, but they did have a smaller Big Mac that we were able to pick up for a lot cheaper. All we knew is that she was going to go nuts -If you're wondering, no we did not pick up anything for the older too and heres our reasoning, the older two are currently in school, they get to go places and do things at this point our youngest can't do being at home. I mean I do take her occasionally bowling and to play places but most of the time we stay home, considering it's winter and the second we go outside she gets sick. Anyway, we do however spoil our each child when we get the chance and when we have the extra money and every time we go to the Dollarstore, my kids favourite place-.

After we finished there we came back to the Hotel and went for a swim, my husband favourite thing to do at a Hotel, I on the other hand love the Hot Tub! Once we had enough of swimming we went back upstairs and went for dinner with a few consultants from my Team. It was nice being able to meet them have a conversation with them. Before we went back to our room, we got word that the owners of Scentsy had appeared and were in the check-in area taking pictures and doing a meet and greet. Of course we all took off and went and got pictures done!! 😂
After that we just hit the sack and went to bed.


WORLD TOUR DAY!! 

5:30am comes early especially when you have to stand in line for an hour waiting for the check-in to open but the Hotel delivered the most delicious breakfast and tea, which was fuel for the next 5 hours. I didn't know what to expect. When you sign up, you pay for your attendance and you also pay for a kit that is put together with all the New items that are coming out for the Spring/Summer collection. You can also add a Tools to Go Kit which has Catalogs, Product Lists and so much more to help you with your business. The guest -my husband- for coming gets a 3 pack of Brand New bars, which by the way smelt fantastic! After checking in they have a table that is all set up with all the New warmers and diffusers for the Spring/Summer 2016 Collection. Let me tell everything was beautifully created and made. The scents smelt amazing and fresh. Once we got into the area with the stage and it started it was fun. We listen to some guest speakers and had 4 scheduled breakout sessions which were training sessions and all of them were very informative and useful and there were things that I learnt that I didn't even know. When we went back for the last half they pulled tickets -that we each got once we checked in- and we won gifts, well not everyone but some people. The best thing about them coming to Canada is they can not take stock back to the states with them so they give it away! We had a blast!

So here's what happen with my husband.

We checked-in and he took off because his phone rang, he basically stayed in the Hotel room the whole time I had my Scentsy thing and it was because he didn't feel included because I was meeting and talking to everyone on my Team that was there and making new relationships and for him, he didn't feel comfortable. I don't understand it, he never really explained but I guess he just has his own way of dealing with things. Everything was alright though. We went to dinner together and a great night together and then we went home the next day and ended our weekend off on a good note. Definitely something I am looking forward too for next year. I am excited!! :D

New Doctor 🏥

Jan. 21st, 2016

Well the day finally has come where I got to meet my new doctor at Mount Sinai. I was nervous, anxious and upset my husband couldn't make because someone has to be there to get our kids off the bus right!? So, we went through my history and she asked about my Stroke back in 2009. I was one of the lucky ones to not have any complications from and she said it probably was because you were so young. In case she order an EKG and Echo as well as a number of blood work and urine. She also refer me to a team of other Dr.'s that she is going to work closely with and make sure that it is same for me to conceive.

So here is the break-down of the Team of Dr.'s:

1. OBGYN/GYNO/Overweight baby Dr. - Mount Sinai- Main Dr. 
2. OBYGN/GYNO - 1st Dr. from Now - 12 weeks 
3. Endocrinologist 
4. Weightless Dr. 

Between this team I am sure to be fixed... -I hope- 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Jan. 11th, 2015

My oldest daughter turns 8 today, thinking back to the day she was born, I remember everything! I can't believe she's already 8 the years have flown on by.

To celebrate we had a Party at our Local Bowling Alley and had a blast. We had two rounds of Bowling, followed by an hour in the Party room for Pizza and Cupcakes. She had a blast and so did her friends that came. I will definitely do this again. It was well worth it.

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MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄& HAPPY NEW YEAR 🎉

Dec. 24th - 25th, 2015

Not posting much today. Busy with Christmas Traditions and spending time with family but I wanted to pop in and say I hope you all have a Very Merry Christmas and stay safe. :)

Christmas 2015

Jan.1st, 2015

Me, Oldest Daughter & Oldest Niece 

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!  2016!! Can you believe it's already a New Year. I am excited for the year a head. We have Our Trailer to look forward too and I am loving my Scentsy Journey right now. We are also going to finally get our appointment with the doctor that may be able to explain why we can't have a baby. So, I hope everyone is having a safe and enjoyable Holiday and a great New Year!


What are some of your News Years Resolutions. What are you looking forward to this year? Comment Below!

Breakfast Television Christmas Party

Dec. 17th, 2015

Today we brought the girls to stay a Hotel tonight -Sheraton Centre Toronto- because we are attending for the first time ever, the BTXMAS Party that Breakfast Television holds every year. We have been trying to come for the last 7 years but unfortunately timing was not right or money was tight. This year we planned and made it happen! So, we stayed over night and went swimming and we also took the girls into the mall. Now I don't know about you but my kids LOVE American Girl  and thankful Indigo/Chapters in the Eaton Centre (and Yorkdale) have a full section just to give kids the experience. So, we have been in need of a brush for their dolls -well Middle daughter already has one, oldest was getting one for christmas so, she never understand why she need one- and we were able to finally get them one. Youngest we just took to the Disney Store and picked up a Cars package for her.  When we got back into the Hotel we met Kevin Frankish, Diana Pugliese and Frank Ferragin. It was awesome, years of waiting to meet them, just happened within seconds. We had conversations with them and my daughter of course yelled out KEVIN to get his attention. 😂 It worked of course. We went to bed early as it was going to bed an early morning.


Dec. 18th, 2015

5:00am was the time we got up and went down in our Pj's and we party and got to see behind the scenes of how everything was done. Now comes the part that really ticked me off. So I am standing in front behind a few moms and this mom beside me has her carseat with a newborn and her toddler. Well my oldest daughter couldn't see so she pushed her way through the "Adults" and went to where the stage was and sat down. Unfortunately I couldn't see. Well, I got upset because you see my oldest as I have mention before has Autism and will sometimes act silly or can get extremely overwhelmed so, I want to be able to see her and make sure she is ok. This mom was a complete *BEEP*. I mean I am sorry but all I asked was for her to switch places with me so, I can see my child with a disability but no. It was more important for her to be on TV and the fact that she had been there since 4am and her mother who had a walker was way in the back then just moving over some to let me see my kid. Anyway, she ended up leaving and I was pushed out of the way yet again by the other *BEEP* beside her and told that my daughter was important enough. I was livid but tried to keep my cool for the shake of my kids, the tv show and the other 1000 people there. I ended up moving to the side of the stage to sit down because my youngest daughter got sick over EVERYONE in including *BEEEP* #2, which I'm sorry Karma is a .... -you can fill in the blanks-. Once over on the side of the stage my daughter ended up falling a sleep on the stage, my middle daughter keep calling KEVIN, which he was so nice and would acknowledge her every time and would laugh about it.

At the end of the Show, we went for breakfast buffet and then went down to get a picture with the whole BT Crew. I was so excited because I was finally going to get to meet my idol Jennifer Valentine.  After all this we were ready to go home and get some sleep because we were all exhausted. Overall, if you haven't had a change to get this experience yet, I would go but I rate it a 5 and would do it again but maybe not for a few years when the kids are older.

Happy Anniversary! 5 Years! 💏

Dec. 11th

Our Wedding. Niagara Falls, ON Dec. 10th 2010

5 Years! WOW! I can't believe it have made it 5 years already. It's crazy just to think about. A lot has happened in 5 years, we've had 3 beautiful girls, we have gone through crazy loops and bounds to stay from walking out that door... -I mean every marriage has it's breaking point and the certain number of problems right!? no one is perfect- and we have stayed strong through it all. I remember our wedding 5 years ago today, we had a private ceremony with some friends -ones we no longer talk to now- and had the pastor come to our hotel room -at the Sheraton on the Falls, now known as the Marrot Gateway on Niagara Falls- and we had an amazing very intimate moment. It was nice and calming, the after party was hilarious. We went to dinner in the Hotel -formally known as Milestones-and they messed up on my steak to which I didn't eat but the Wine was great and you liked your dinner and then we decided to go back to the room and drink some -although our friends at the time did not want to- then we decided to walk to the casino, in the cold, in my wedding dress and gamble to which we won a good amount of money that night. To then which I froze again with no shoes and walked to the closest restaurant at the time My cousin Vinnie's and had the most amazing Fettuccine Alfredo with mushrooms and sundries tomatoes. Then we went back to our Hotel and called it a night. 😏


Dec. 11th-13th, 2015

This year we decided to go back to Niagara and celebrate our 5 years and enjoy "our time" together. Talk and gambled, and we actually went bowling, to which I enjoy a pint of beer to myself as hubby did not want to drink for whatever reason... it was a good night though. We stayed the night in our original suite which was the Loft Room and then moved into a smaller room -King Room- and had friends come and spend the night with us. We went out on the Town and enjoy the Winter walk and also went through our very first HAUNTED HOUSE! It was crazy, we met another couple that we didn't even know but when you're going through this place you don't care whose there you are grabbing on to someone and just getting through it. There was a guy in the walls and for whatever reason he had a vendetta against my husband and was taunting him, I wish I could imitate the exact voice used but believe me it was the funniest thing, we were all peeing ourselves laughing. Once we finished my husband -the one who never wanted to do these type of things in the first place- wanted to go back in -I finally broke him in- but we decided to go back to the Hotel and the rest of them went to the Casino because me being forgetful forgot my ID at home.

5 Year Anniversary

So I stayed at the Hotel and the Hotel was super sweet and sent us a plate full of Chocolate covered Strawberries -Hershey Chocolate I might add- and champagne -not that wanted to drink- and watched a movie and ate the strawberries. The next morning we left around 11am and got home and spent the night with the girls. Overall I can't wait for our 10th because we are definitely going away maybe Las Vegas Nevada? 😜

*More pictures to come soon.

CP Rail Holiday Train 🚂

Dec. 1st, 2015

Today we took our youngest to see the CP Rail Holiday Train. We had no idea that this train even existed, until it came up on my Facebook News Feed. It's free, all you do is bring a Food Donation and they have Free Hot Chocolate and a free toy for the child. Santa comes and the train rolls in and they have a free concert. It was so much fun! The smile on my little girls face was priceless. Definitely pulling her out of school next year for this, new tradition with her. It's her only time with Mom and Dad.

If you haven't heard of it or haven't checked it out. Look it up in your town and look at the schedule. It goes across Canada.

Happy Birthday Hunnie! 🎂🎈

Nov. 16, 2015

My husband's birthday is today and usually we have someone watch the girls and go out to dinner -usually Mandarin, his favourite place- and a movie -it was the Twilight Series, then it became The Hungry Games- but this year was different. He just wanted to go To his all time favourite place East Side Mario's for dinner to enjoy his day with his girls. We had a nice dinner and they gave him a little mouse cake and we sang Happy Birthday. It was kinda nice. I did get a few pictures unfortunately not of him because my phone died 😑 so here are two from that night. 

Hunnie here is to many more birthdays with you! I hope you had an amazing day today! Love you. 💕

Santa Claus Parade 2015

Nov. 15th, 2015

 We took the girls to the Santa Claus Parade this year down in Toronto. We have never been so was an experience we have been trying to do forever. The girls got to ride the subway down and we got Tim Hortons and got to see all the amazing floats up close, take pictures with the clowns -that i DID not like hence my fear of clowns- and also, one special picture the Major of Toronto himself! It was a great time and to see the smiles on the girls faces just made my heart feel warm and blessed. ☺️

Happy Thanksgiving!! 🦃🍽🍷

October 9th-12th, 2015

I hope everyone is having a great long weekend with their families and friends! We went to the trailer this weekend and had an amazing Thanksgiving.


We also.....



BOUGHT A TRAILER!!

Just a few pictures of the inside of the trailer

We are so excited and are bummed that we can't stay in it for more then one night but it's ours and its the best $3,500 investment I believe we have ever made. This trailer is a house trailer. It has 3 bedrooms, a full-size bathroom, a kitchen and a living room. In a few years we can place this trailer on land and eventually add onto it and make it our home. So basically we just bought our house. Over the next few months we have plans to repaint the inside because the previous owners painted it this disgusting yellow colour that looks horrible and covered up the original wallpaper which is sad but it was nice and we are replacing the counter top. We will also have to replace the toilet and the counter top in the bathroom but like I said we will have to save over the next few months till April 2016 in order to afford everything.

We have NEW Kittens!! 🐱

Oct. 9th, 2015

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABIES!! 

Well at 1am this morning my cat decided to go into labour with her second litter and I got to watch the whole thing. It was probably the most amazing thing I have seen! I even got to hold them immediately after birth to make sure that they were ok.  She had 5 all together and oh man the process and the length of time it takes to have kittens gives me a new outlook on labour. I mean seriously, she has no pain killers and let me tell you it took a good 3 hours for all the babies to be fully delivered, thats insane. My poor Cupcake.  Oh and guess where she decided to give birth... under my couch. Yup she ripped apart the undercover of my couch and made herself a little dwelling. The only reason I knew she was giving birth was because I heard the smallest little meow ever! It was like my girls before born all over again, that first cry. I got to hear that from a kitten! Amazing! I wish I could keep them all! And it sucks that I am leaving for the long weekend of Thanksgiving.

Graduation Day 🎓

October 8th, 2015

So, I haven't shared yet that through all the drama in my life, I was at least putting my mind else where and to good use. I graduated today!!

I started schooling for college at home through MacTech Distance Education, for Creative Digital Media. It took longer then planned and expected but I have learned over the last few months that nothing goes as planned but given everything I had been through I was glad to have finished!

I graduated at the top of my class with a 95 overall and on the honour roll and I couldn't be prouder of myself!!

It is the best feeling in the world, that not only did I complete something for the future career I want but I also showed my girls that no matter what happens in life, if you put your mind to something you will accomplish it.




*picture of my all my grades. Blank spaces means no assignment was needed for that part of the course. 

Sonogram Results, Appointment and New Specialist 😒

Sept. 17th 2015

After having the Sonogram, I was told that I would receive a call within two days with an appointment to go over everything including blood work results. Well I never did. So, I figured they were just busy and I decided to call. What I was told was that over the last two days the office had gone for a tailspin because my Dr. had decided to take a personal leave of ascents and was not returning to her current position but to a different one. We would be able to see the Male specialist that was in the same clinic if we wanted or they would refer us to her colleague -might I add that this colleague was an additional 30 minutes away from me but was female- or I could find another practice and they would send my file free of charge to them.

I decided to be referred to the female specialist and I prefer them over the male dr. -bad experience, not sharing- and give in to the 30 minute travel time it would take to get there.

Sept. 24th, 2015

Well we met with the new doctor today and boy was she rude! I have never been more insulted by an adult in my life. Basically, she looked at me and because I am overweight, she was not comfortable taking me on as a patient and therefore, referred to me an OB/GYNO doctor at a Hospital. In my head I took it as "sorry you're too fat and I can't/will not help you". 

This is not what I had planned. I was hoping to have all my results and a plan for October to start TTC'ing again but for whatever reason, I am being tossed around like a frisbee.

Sonogram

Sept. 14th, 2015

Went for my Sonogram today and she thought that she found more left over tissue. So upset. I was hoping that this nightmare was over and unfortunately, now we may to do another flush. Super frustrated and upset. 

First Day of School! 😀

Today was the first day back to school for my two oldest girls and they were excited. Every year on the first day, I go with them and we find their classroom or line up outside and meet the teacher. This year my oldest was entering Grade 2 and my middle daughter was entering SK so she had the same teacher as in JK.  

Afterwards, my youngest and I went home and got things in order because our house was in chaos. We had laundry and everything that needed to be done and the rooms needed to be cleaned and the carpet needed shampooing and with just one little girl home -who is my little helper i might add- it got down faster then expected. So, we had time to relax. After school since it was a gorgeous day out I decided to take the girls to the park and enjoy the last few days of Summer and tire them out. 😂😏😜

September 1-5 -Family Vacation and Mother Nature!? 😳

So, with it being almost school time again, my husband and I had planned a little family vacation. We have dealt with a lot the last two months so, we really want to give the kids something else to remember other then the past two months.

Day 1

We left September 1st and we stayed at the Four Points By Sheridan Hotel, which we loved the last time we went down. I had just recently re-joined Scentsy so, on this trip with it being the 1st of the month, I had a huge order to place and need the internet to do so. Well everything was going well. We had dinner at East Side Mario's and went to Clifton Hill. When we got back and we got the girls ready for bed and bunker down for the night. At 1am the internet shut down on me so, I called technical support -yes call me crazy but when you have a job to do, it needs to get down right!?- they were able to fix it for me but within half an hour it went down again so, I decided just to go to bed and try again in the morning.

Day 2

Horrible! Well we had a good day as a family but I was in so much pain once we came back from out activities that day, that all I wanted to do was relax and get the order in and unfortunately, the complimentary internet was not working again! At this point I was annoyed so, my husband went down and talked to the manager -who was great- and we switched rooms where it worked but 10 minutes in and it stopped working. Apparently they were having problems with their serves and unfortunately it being "complimentary" they couldn't guarantee anything and if were unhappy we could leave the Hotel and find some where else to stay. I was flabbergasted.  I mean are you kidding me!? We came to stay in their hotel because they had everything conveniently located downstairs -arcade, restaurants and more- and that is how we are being treated. So, we did as we were told and went to the DoubleTree by Hilton.

Let me begin to tell you the difference between the hotels and the beauty within this hotel. I mean you walk in -unfortunately they do not have people to help you to your room but they have the trolley's- and you are in a grand entrance with the check-in to your left and a huge fireplace in front of you and wood cravings everywhere.  It was just breath taking and more peaceful. The bedroom was great we had two Queen size beds and a crib, a desk and a two dressers with a tv and a full-size bathroom with a tub plus we could see the Falls from our window. The pool was salt water and not chlorine which which felt amazing! It left your skin feeling smooth and clean 🙂.

After that we decided to find some where for dinner and we were able to find a Hotdog & Hamburger stand down the road behind the hotel -I know really!? - well it was so good and the lady there was super nice and we had a good conversation. After we hit up a Wal-mart since Mother Nature was in town, hubby wanted me to join them in a swim so we needed tampons to allow me to do that. -TMI ALERT!-

Day 3-5

 Were fantastic! We got the Adventure Pass Plus and went to all the attraction below, plus we had access to the bus for 72 hours which was so convenient when you have a family.

You get to choice which days you want to do each activity so it doesn't all have to be done in one day and you get to see a lot of Niagara and the culture. Our favourite I think was the Aero Car. You actually enter the States 3 times without needing a passport since we weren't getting off. Our other favourite -well for me and my youngest- was The Butterfly Conservatory. They have the most beautiful collection of real life butterflies that you walk through and they can land on you and fly around you. I will though that if you are travelling with a stroller it is not easily accessible since there are paths with steps and its not all levelled so my umbrella story got stuck more then a few times. Another Favourite was the Niagara's Fury, its a 4D animation of the Journey of the falls and its meant for all ages because they make it animated with characters the kids will love.

Also, they had a light show when we went down. It was really neat. There was a concert with a band -I don't remember the name unfortunately- they were so good. We danced in the park and then at 8:30pm right beside us was a giant Water show that took us on another journey about how the falls was created and the future of the falls. When I say water I mean it was an illumination done within water. It was the coolest thing I have ever seen.

So, overall our Trip turned out amazing and we are definitely planning next year! We see this being an annual trip a New Family Tradition.

August 30th, 2015

CD1 - Mother Nature showed up today. FINALLY! The official flush has begun. Now we can soon start TTC'ing again but she sure knows when to plan her timing right. Ugh!

August 18th-27th, 2015 - Promentrium 

So, I am going to be honest with you, this medication was not fun at all. It was HELL! I'll explain why but first here are all the Side effects that you can get:

• nausea
• bloating
• breast tenderness
• headache
• change in vaginal discharge
• mood swings
• blurred vision
• dizziness 
• drowsiness 

This is what the internal form looks like

Now I have bolded the ones that I got but another side effect that is not listed there should be Hip Pain! OMG! The pain that was in my hips basically kept me from walking or moving. I did call the nurse 5 days in and explain the side effect I was having and she advise me to stop taking the medication and she would speak with the Dr. to get me a new medication right away but after talking with her a second time once she got the new medication prescription, we both agreed I only had a few mores days and I was done and to change now could mess up when I were to bleed, which would be within 7 days or so of taking the medication.   To take the medication, I had to place it inside my vagina with an applicator, at the same time each night and it is recommended that you do not move after it is inserted so once you've placed it you have to stay laying down for the rest of the time. I would put it in every night around 11pm. Once I finished the medication my hip pain went away within a few days and then it was just the waiting game for CD1. 

August 12th, 2015 - First Visit with A Fertility Specialist

So, today I went for my first visit with a New Fertility Dr. in hopes of conceiving again and possibly finding out why I miscarried. As my husband and I met with the Dr., She seemed nice and honestly very comforting. She did an internal ultrasound right in her office and my husband was actually allowed to come in -if I wanted- and she explained everything she was looking at on the screen. She told me that there was still some tissue left over and that she wanted to try and do a flush with Promentrium and she also wanted to refer me for a Sonogram to get a better look at things. I explained that I had never had one and she explained that, I would take a medication before hand that would prevent any infection an hour before the proceeder and then at the time she would insert a solution that would light up my uterus so, she could get a look at everything.

After meeting with her, we went for blood work -both myself and my husband-, now my husband has not had blood work since he was little and HATES needles so this was kinda fun, knowing it was his turn for pain. 😂 They took 15 things of blood from me that day and 10 from my husband. They were great and gave us orange juice and a cookie and I said "I feel like I just donated blood!" as a joke since that is what they give you at a blood donation clinic.

Afterwards, we were taken with the nurse to discuss everything that the clinic offers and the schedule breakdown and other tests that the Dr. wanted us to go for. I was given a ton of paper work and the prescription and we were told that she would see me after my Sonogram and when they get all the results.

August 7-8th 2015 - Random trip to Niagara Falls, ON

We took a trip today with our oldest DD and a good friend of ours and her son. It was kinda on whim since we only had one child at the time. My husband really wanted to go To Niagara Falls and get out of the City and since my good friend and I already had plans together on the Saturday, I called her up and said "Get ready we are leaving within the hour to come and get you, we are going to Niagara for the weekend!" At first she thought I was crazy and then she realized I was being honest and got on board. We rushed home (we were out at the time) and I got clothes together called my parents to watch our dog Minnie and my husband took care of the reservations! Then we got on the road. We had a blast with the kids. We took them to MarineLand for the very 1st time -last time I went I was 2.5 years old - which was so much fun and the deer were hilarious all I can say is don't bring an ice-cream cone in with you, because they will chase you until you either finish it or give in and give it to them! Haha 😂

My Miscarriage Story

April/May 2015

My second cycle on Femara was alright. I didn’t become a horrible person this time but I did have some nausea but all in all it was ok. I ovulated on CD19 once again and this time the wait was horrible. I just wanted this month to be our cycle. CD12 two days before my birthday in May I tested and I thought that I saw a line. It was faint, horribly faint but it was there. i was literally feeling sick to my stomach. May 12th - MY BIRTHDAY!! WOOHOOO. 27!! We were going to dinner and with dinner meant I could have a drink but then my husband came home and threw a test on the counter and said here before we go anywhere. So, off I went to pee in a cup and test. I placed in on the counter and covered it. I waited the 5 minutes and went back and although in my head I was like I don’t even know why i am bothering its negative but it wasn’t! I got my birthday gift. I am pregnant!! 

The First doctors visits

The next few days were blood work and confirmation. I remember sitting in a walk-in clinic and the doctor coming back and saying I am so sorry but its negative and I said are you sure… because I have had 3 positives at home. Ok, lets do some blood work. While I was leaving with my 3 year old in hand I went to where my test was on the counter and looked at it. I saw it there were two lines. The test just takes the 5 minutes it needs to finish. It was there. She came out of the room with another patient and i showed it to her. She confirmed and apologized and said do the blood work. So, i went and did the blood work and the 24 hours was horrible. I called I think 7 times and finally the clerk said ok I will call, then call you back. She did and levels were 38. Not a great number… its too low. The doctor wants to see you again she said. So, off I went back to the office. This time it was a different walk in doctor and he said I don’t like your numbers but lets do another to make sure it is going up. So, off I went to do blood work again and to my surprise it did go up. My 48hr blood work 138 still not great but I was taking it. I made an appointment with my OB. 

June 2015

I had my ultrasound at 6 weeks and 5 days around the second week of June and heard and saw the heartbeat for the first time. When seeing the ultrasound something told me that this pregnancy wasn't going to go well, something wasn't right but I was so excited and overwhelmed with joy that I didn't let it take over. On June 24, 2015 I had my first OB appointment ... from what I counted I should of been around 8 weeks or so from my ultrasound, which she sent us for another.

6 weeks and 3 days

The First time and last time we heard out babies heartbeat!

8 weeks and 5 days

After the ultrasound, my heart sank. I knew that there was definitely something and the baby was not properly forming but my doctor said everything is good with the heartbeat and there is nothing to worry about so, I went on not worrying. 

July 1st, 2015 

Happy Canada Day!! 🇨🇦

We had such a great time at Canada's Wonderland with family and our girls.. I made sure to take an easy and sit when I could and not attempt the rides that were so much fun. We had such a long day that it was nice to see the Fireworks!

July 6-10th, 2015

I started having this brownish discharge. I never paid a whole lot of attention to it but I did call my doctor and she told me she wanted me on bed rest for the time being and that if it got worse to head to the ER. So for 3 days I was couch bound. My husband stayed home to watch our 3 year old and get the girls to and from school and take care of the house chores. Then on Friday, July 10th it got worse, to the point it was coming out in clumps. My husband rushed me to the ER, I was sure I was miscarrying and the baby we loved before we convinced was gone but after the ultrasound, the doctor (whom was amazing) told me that everything was fine, I had a subchorionic hematoma. I asked if there was a chance for miscarriage and he said yes, sometimes it can send a clot through the umbilical cord and block it which then the baby has no oxygen. I was scared.. I was angry, confused, frustrated but he told me to go home and take an easy and only to move to go to the bathroom. Again, here is my poor husband who needs to work and take care of the family once again but we all have to make sacrifices somethings right?

July 15th, 2015

THE WORST & HARDEST DAY EVER!! 

Today my baby was found without a heartbeat. I can't explained to you the feelings I have right now. I am devastated. The hardest thing I believe you can ever go through in life is losing a child. A child that you never got to hold or meet.  I can remember the days to follow were very emotionally draining and difficult. I remember coming home and having to tell my kids that their baby brother/sister had died and wouldn't be coming home but instead was now sitting with the Lord himself in Heaven with their Nana Helen (Husband's Mom). Knowing that they were young and probably not understand what was actually happening was the hard for me. I expected tears and questions but got nothing, except I'm sorry Mommy, I love you, which meant so much. My OB had given me medication (called Misoprostol) to physically abort the baby, which my husband was not to keen on. The first thing I had asked my doctor for was a D&C since knowing my body does not take well to medication and I knew that it -misoprostol- would not work. She denied my claim and said give this a try first and we'll go from there. You should start this as soon as possible. Well my husband wanted me to wait. He wanted a second opinion because he was in the state of Denial. I on the other hand didn't know if I could wait.

July 16th, 2015 - Afternoon

My husband had been at work and I was at home, my parents had come and got the girls for the weekend, as I was in no shape to take care of them. I couldn't even think. I wanted to sleep. Well I woke up that afternoon numb and just thinking of having the baby still inside of me not alive was making me sick. So, I decided to give the medication a try and started with the first pill. I didn't feel anything that night, just some cramping.

July 17th, 2015

I took my second dose, at 10am and by 1pm everything just started to come out. The pressure, cramps were unbearable. I cried as I ran to the bathroom and felt it all. I remember after I though that it was done I stood up and went to pull up my pants only to feel something gross and look down to find the baby! Yes my baby was in my underwear. I sat back down on the toilet grab a tissue and picked it up and stared at it. UTTER SHOCK!! DISBELIEF! I called my sister - in- law right away and said I think I just gave birth to my baby. She was like WHAT THE!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? I said NOPE. I am holding it right now. It hand hands, a spin and a head with two black eyes. The rest of the night I was in so much pain, with the kids gone I broke down like cried out in agony with my husband trying to comfort me, well trying to comfort himself. I was in so much pain. I took my third dose of the medication and the pain was horrid. If anyone told me that the pain you go through is the 10x worst then giving birth I would give birth a 1000 x over then. My dear husband eventually went up to his mothers and got me a heating pad and I also had pain killers Oxy's. I took two of those and eventually fell a sleep.

July 19th, 2015

Well, I woke up that morning feeling alright, although I had the runs all Saturday and that morning so we decided to get out and go to the mall just to have something fixed and looked at, at the Apple Store. Well in the process, I had to stop every 10 minutes for the bathroom and before this my bleeding had basically slowed down but once at the mall the bleeding and pain started to get worse and I felt like my uterus was contracting really bad. I ended up at the hospital keeling over. They were able to get my in to Acute care once I explained everything and get me an ultrasound, which came back fine and emptied. I cried the whole way home, which they again gave me more oxy;s and sent me home.

July 21st, 2015

I woke up with unbearable pain and unfortunately I had my kids home and my husband at work and there was nothing that I could do. So, I waited for him to get home and at that point I was over it, I wanted answers as of to why I was in so much pain again. So, off to the hospital I went again. This time the good doctor checked me and notice that there was still tissue trying to come out but was stuck and he couldn't grab it with the tools they had in the ER so, he called an OB on call and they came and assessed me and get me an ultrasound which showed lots of left over tissue. At this point the only thing left to do was a D&C. So, at 10pm that night was brought into the OR that night, afterwards they brought me to the general surgery floor and at 2:30am I was released from the hospital to go home and rest. The next couple of weeks were much better.  We tried to just take time as a family and enjoy each other. We also went to Build a Bear and made a bear -which we named Gabriel as our baby is now an Angel of the Lord - with my baby's heart beat in it and also a heartbeat that they have for our baby with the baby remains inside (doctor confined that it was our baby) - which we cremated -. ♥︎

RIP Gabriel!! We love you Forever & Always! Even though we never got to meet you, You will always be our baby. Just an Angel and live in our hearts forever! ♥︎

My Infertility Journey...So Far..

I wanted to talk about something that is very hard to talk about. A lot of people judge me because they think “oh but you have 3 children, why the need for more!?” I simply say its truly my life and I feel as my journey for children are not done.

In my description i put that I have 3 beautiful girls, they are 8, almost 4, and soon to be 6. We have a normal but challenging lifestyle where my 8 year old has Autism & ADHD, and my almost 4 year old has a Development Delay which makes her like she’s 2.5. After having her in March of 2012 my husband and I decided we wanted another, just one more we said. So, in June 2012 we started our journey TTC #4 well my periods were very irregular and never came back till January 2013. Doctors couldn’t give me answers as to why and not only did they come back but they didn’t come for 60 days apart. I truly thought it was my fault like I was doing something wrong. So, I started to eat right and dropped the pop and hoped for a miracle. In September 2013 my periods returned to normal every 35 days. I was so excited and thought now we can try. In November 2013 I got my first positive test only to find out a few weeks later nothing was growing and it was my first chemical pregnancy. I was devastated. I went home and went through every baby thing I owed and didn’t need I purged and gave or sold to ones that needed it. My husband just didn’t understand. He was confused and angry, and after my next cycle we were able to TTC again. A year later we conceived again, in November and that was also short lived because again, a week or so later I started bleeding and cramping. The pain was unbearable and I found myself having yet another chemical miscarriage. At this point, I knew we needed help. We had also moved twice in the short period of time and my body was tired and I was tired…. I just didn’t understand! AGAIN! I said to the ER doctor. AGAIN!! Why!? Why is this happening to us. We have three girls and now I can’t have an actually pregnancy. All he could say was I am sorry and sent us on our merry way. So, we took a month break because I needed it. Our families weren’t really in the know of what was going on because they all believed we have enough on our plate why add so, we kept it a secret and with no one to talk to was becoming really hard for the both of us to handle.

January 2015

It’s been almost 3 years and no baby. This is the longest we have ever gone without a little one. I felt like the baby phase was pretty much done for us and I was losing hope. So, I made an appointment to see my OB that delivered my two youngest girls and with the last bit of hope, I put my trust in her. I took the 2 hour drive down to see her and explained my story of the last 3 years and 2 miscarriages. She told me that I probably was ovulating properly and she said I can help you. She gave us Femara a fertility drug that helped with ovulation. She explained to me how to use it and that it would cost out of pocket but at this point, I didn’t care. Anything, anything that could help us. She also explained that I needed to start to chart my cycle and test using an ovulation tester. So, I prepared myself since I was already half done my cycle in February.

March 2015

My first cycle on Femara was horrible, the drug made me the most bitches, moodiest person. I couldn’t stand people, I couldn’t stand being me! but we got through it and I actually ovulated CD19 I saw that smiley face and then came the TWW, it didn’t work. I didn’t conceive but she told us that it may take 2 maybe even 5 cycles to get pregnant. So, off we went again.