September 2016 Review

Wow I can't believe it's been this long and I haven't updated you guys on whats been going on. Although not much we have been through two months.

September 2016

6th- OMG! The first day of school for the girls and the first day for my job as a crossing guard. So excited and so are the girls... DD#3 starts her first year of JK (if you're reading from another country... here in Canada, once you reach the age of 4 you start Grade school. We start two years of Kindergarten first JK and Then SK and then go in to Gr. 1), She is just so ready other then the potty training that has not happened, thank goodness for the school that has agreed to take her with being in diapers - well pull ups -.


1st- KITTENS!! We had kittens...again!! Yup.. we didn't know our cat was pregnant again and we definitely didn't realize that our male got her before getting fixed. I was kinda annoyed but excited. Believe me I love my animals but being pregnant and taking care of 3 kids and 3 cats and a dog fulltime plus chickens is a lot of work. We love having animals of all different shorts but when you add more to the count it makes more work and takes more time. She did have a litter of 3 but unfortunately it being the long weekend we came back to having one kitten who had past away. She ended up with one male and one female in the end. We had some worry about the female because she had "frog legs" she wasnt able to walk with them but over the period of October she has greatly improved. The male however has been amazing. Very independent and very strong willed.

Around the same time we also put our beloved trailer up for sale. Yes I have a post if you're wondering what it looks like see May 2016 Recap but we decided that the park was just not meant for us as there was not a lot of things for our kids to do and we were tired of the drama.  We are planning on possibly getting another day the road after baby but right now we are happy with our decision to sell.

21st- I have my 16 week ultrasound today and we are hoping find out the gender today but little one had other plans had decided to cross their legs and put their foot under their butt.. It was actually quiet funny.. already being like their mother. I can't not wait to find out though. I was a trying to keep it a surprise but being a mother of 3 I feel like I need to know, it's hard finding gender neutral clothing.

28th- Attended and joined the Parent Council today. I am not officially the treasurer of my girls school. Kinda Nervous and exciting but definitely getting out of my comfort level.

29th-Oct1st- We decided to take a small family Vacation to our favourite place Niagara Falls.. This time we stayed at the Skyline Inn. I made a post review on Facebook about our stay which was great. Also, we decided to go to the Fallsview Waterpark. Absolutely worth every penny. We loved it. The girls had a blast and weren't bored and to be honest we really didn't miss the usually riding around town, boat riding type of visit. We did visit the arcade in the Sheridan this time which is right across the street - well behind the casino - . If you're planning a visit definitely look at this hotel!!


Other then these updates not much has gone on for September. Please stay tune for October's update next week. Leave a comment, let me know that you've been here and if you have a blog or a vlog.

Twelve Week Ultrasound

Monday morning was probably the worst morning I have ever had. I hardly slept the night before. - If you haven't already and would like to here is the link to my direct miscarriage story last year.- Now once you read that you'll understand exactly where I am coming from or you may have done through this yourself.

Anyway, as I was saying I was extremely nervous, my aniexty was in full force and I was just wanting to get the ultrasound over with.  We arrived at the hospital for our appointment (DH came with) and we checked in. Once checked in you're asked to wait in the waiting room with other VERY pregnant women and in my head I was thinking, oh how I wish I didn't have to worry about anything and I want to just get there and be that big and out of breath and be able to feel my baby move. I couldn't talk to anyone, I couldn't think. It was an insane feeling for me. I have never been this way in any pregnancy but since my losses it has been hard. It felt like I was in a bad dream and it was never going to end.

We waited for a good hour before the one tech called me in and she wasn't like the last tech I had for my first ultrasound at the hospital. She was professional and kinda rude - Rant: which honestly I don't understand. If you're going to work with people who are pregnant and you're going to be in kinda personal space then i think you should be somewhat of a professional but also a people person. There is no reason be rude. End of Rant - she told me to lay on the bed and put my end at the very top and lay still so, I did just that. She told me to relax and i told her that all I wanted to know was if there was a heartbeat or not. She said how come and I said that I had a miscarriage last year at 12 weeks and just was going nuts. She started ultrasound and the only thing she said to me was you have a jumping bean with a great heartbeat.

The feeling of relief is unreal. I don't even know how to explain the feeling that came over me in the moment. My emotions were all over the place, I felt like I could just cry tears of joy in that moment but I also wanted to scream with happiness and thank the lord for allowing me to carry a child again.

Anyway the appointment went. Doctor said that everything is great. Baby has no sign of down syndrome at this point and I go back for my next appointment on September 21st.

I announced out pregnancy to Facebook world yesterday and I was overly excited to share the news. I know that this will have a great outcome and I am so very thankful for this baby.

Potty Training... Fail!

So the week has been long and she was doing well until we got to Tuesday and we had used every single pair of underwear we had bought her. So, I did laundry and of course had her in a pull-up well doing that. Well that back fired. I mean she is a hard one. Poop in the toilet master, the one thing that is suppose to be the hardest is the easiest and the pee is another story.

Being pregnant and already have horrible mood swings,

adding potting training is not great for the nerves but we have a week and half to accomplish this or at least getting down to at least one accident a day not a million. I truly don't understand she is really good for going most of the time and others she just thinks it hilarious when she pees on the floor. Like I stated in my last blog I really don't believe in treating them for using the toilet I just praise her and let her know that a she is a big girl but what do you do for when she pees purposely on the floor and in her undies. Ugh!! I am so, frustrated.

So... The last few days she has been in pull-ups AGAIN>>> I know MOMMY FAIL!

She goes away this weekend to my parents along with her sisters and I plan to start next week again with potty training... starting Tuesday since Monday I have my 12 week appointment and ultrasound 😀.  

What did you do, that work for you while potty training? Give me some advice in the comments below! 

Potty Training A 4 Year Old

Now I am not an expert at all in this territory believe with two already out diapers 8 and 6, I vaguely remember Potty Training my first child, although I do remember what happened with DD#2. She was 3 and I did the shirt with nothing else on method. We had a week and I was confident she was ready. So out we went to Wal-Mart and bought her underwear that she picked and if I remember correctly they were Strawberry shortcake. The first day she worn nothing and had maybe 1 accident, every time she would go I would do a huge celebration, dance and give her a prize... Candy! The second day she had no accidents and I was oh this is a piece of cake, she is the easiest I have ever had to train and She is going to be potty trained no problem and thats what happen by the third she would go when she needed to and she started wearing underwear and had no accidents what so ever. So Day 4 we decided that we needed to go shopping well heres where it got interesting. She wouldn't tell me when she had to go and now most people would put a diaper on their kid but me I put underwear and pair of pants (of course) and brought two extra sets (I also brought diapers just incase i ran out). Now she only had one accident and that was because she couldn't hold her pee and we made to the toilet but in time for her to take her pants to pee. So technically speaking she did go in the toilet but we had to clean it up and change out pants and underwear and continue shopping. The next few days were great until we got to the weekend. She decided she want to regress and wanted to become a baby again and wear diapers. Wanted nothing to do with the underwear and the process of going to the potty. I was upset, I thought that she had it under control and there would be no diapers and we would only have to buy one set of diapers for DD#3 but I was wrong. So, she went back into diapers. Now through the week I had her in a diaper at night so that didn't change. I felt that maybe she had been a bit rushed and now she didn't have the confidence she needed. So I allowed to have her diapers and when was comfortable about a week later I found her one night with her diaper off and sleeping. Now I wanted to put the diaper back on back she was so awkwardly position I left her. I felt that if she wanted to have it on she would. The next morning she put her underwear after peeing and when I checked her bed, it was dry. From this point on she was done. Potty trained Ready to go. I was in shock. It was a proud day in our household and we definitely celebrated by going to the Dollarama and going to Wal-mart and buying some more underwear.
                                                                                                                                                      

Moving on to today... for DD#3 she is currently 4 and few months and I have tried to potty her in the past and failed. She was doing great and then regressed for a long time. So, now there is reward there is the reminder. I am not going to reward my child for something that I know she knows how to do. She is lazy and would rather wear pull-ups. So, we are now officially into day #2 and so far Day 1 we had 2 accidents and that was it. She knows when she has to go. She has also gone poop twice. So I would say that Day 1 was a huge success!! Lets see how Day 2 goes... I will update you all tomorrow!!

Update... It's Been To Long!

Hey everyone,


I know I haven't been around much in the past two months and I apologize. I mean I do have a valid explanation for it... Its a practical one. Really...

First the girls finished school and started camp and it was an awesome 6 weeks... wrong.. it was alright for the first two and then I got the call that would make any parent cringe, CAS wanted to make a visit Why!? You ask well here is what happen: I set my girls to school and DD#1 has Autism and ADHD, well she is a special one I tell ya, she decided to mention she was hungry, my kids HATE breakfast in the morning so I send them with extra snacks to get them through the day. Anyway, as I was saying, she mention she was angry to one of her Camp Leaders and that Camp Leader i guess had a problem with the way she dressed, mind you I don't send my kids in rags, but she did and then she came to the conclusion we had no food in our home and we were starving our kids. Well let me tell you when I got this call how LIVID I was. It was like seriously, she is always hungry and she never stops eating...if I don't put my foot down she would eat me out of house and home but really I was crazy mad and I went picked up my girls from Camp and got a hold of the principle running it and she was like "I am so sorry, the call was made before I could explain to the girl about Hailie." the principle knows my girls very well, we have a great relationship. Anyway they came and did there investigation and this girl seemed genuine. I mean we believed her when she said that she didn't have any concerns and everything was great at home and that there may be a few things we need to fix... like our mattress is on the floor with our a bed frame because it broke and we aren't sleeping on it but for reasons I had to split up my girls sleeping arrangements so, because DD#1 is sleeping on our mattress in our room we need to get another bed frame. Anyway, after two weeks and the annoyance of this girl just trying to find something wrong with our parenting, she finally closed the file. That was a great sigh of relief... I tell ya this parenting thing is not easy but we try our best!

Moving On......

So, that was one of the reasons I haven't been around for the last 2 months. You see it's time for a fertility update:

So, as I started in my last update May Recap, I updated you regarding my cycle.. well May 30th they started me on CD3 and on my Femara 5mg for cycles day 3-7. I went back June 9th to measure my follicles and to my surprise 1.7 and 1.9cm. I was thrilled. They told me I should ovulate within the next few days. Well I did the next day June 10th I ovulated!! OMG!! I was thrilled. Of course we BD and I took an easy the rest of the weekend but it was great to know that this could be it. I tested the next day and knew my TWW was starting and I was scared and nervous but I knew that if it was meant to happen it would. Well I am proud to say that June 21st 11dpo I found out we were expecting out RAINBOW baby and I was ecstatic. We are currently 11 weeks and I am finally almost over the horrible morning sickness... I can't eat dairy, meat or anything else that smells except for pickles!!

Our Rainbow Baby

May 2016 Recap

Ok so I know that it has been a while since my last post and I sincerely apologize but it has been a really busy month. As you know I left off with the trailer needing some work and it got done! I am so happy with how it all turned out.  So, here is an update for everything that happened in May.

Trailer AFTER Photo :) 

We finished painting the trailer! No more pukey yellow. I couldn't stand it. I love this settle grey colour that, yes I picked out. It makes it look so much bigger and I love the shock of people that had seen it before coming in and are just blow away!!

We still have some things left to do, the backsplash in the kitchen being one. We haven't decided if we're changing the counter tops or not. I think with the colour it looks really good. We also got Tv and internet working, which I love! It's not the greatest speed but it will definitely do. 

Question: Where you do like to go for your Holidays? Comment Below.

May the 4th be with you!!

May 4th, 2016 is Star Wars Day & We had kittens, and this time I was helping her with the birth. It was very awkward. So, I am sitting there eating with my youngest daughter and Cupcake comes up to me and she's whining. I thought she wanted water so, I got up and saw that it was empty, opps! So, I filled it and went back to eating my lunch. She came back. This time she was louder and I thought I saw something sticking out of her so I went to check and guys let me tell you, she was soaked because her water and broken and I touched it! EWWW!!! 😳😖 Anyway, all the babies were born healthy and we got a surprise she ended up having 4 and then she had one in the wee morning of May 5th, now we have 5!! 😻

May 4th, 2016
1st picture is 4 just moments after birth! 2nd picture is all 5, May 5th and the last picture was taken at 5 days old. 

May 12th, 2016

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! 

-----------------------------------------------------------

TTC update:

So, in my last blog I had left you with me taking Provera. I ended up getting my period after 3 days of finishing the medication on May 13th, I took Femara CD3-7 2.5mg to help with ovulation. I went in to my doctors for blood work and ultrasound on CD12 and had 1 follicle on my right ovary that measured 1cm and my lining was 6.9. The blood work was any better but we were hopefully and we were instruction to BD on Saturday. I then went in this past Tuesday CD19 (June 30th), to find out that my follicle had shrunk to 0.9 and lining was only 7.3 which means I never ovulated. So, now they started me again on Femara and CD19 turned into CD3 and I am taking 5mg instead of 2.5mg. I am hoping that this is our cycle, and that the medication works. I plan on using Pre-seed and the Diva Cup for a better outcome but first I have to have the eggs first right. 

Question:What did you do to help to produce good eggs? Comment Below!

-----------------------------------------------------------

Family update:

We are MOVING!! We found a really nice older house right by the kids school and the backyard is huge. I will have picture shortly after we are settle in. I am kinda sad leaving this place behind, we have some bad memories here but we also have a lot of good. 

So, there you have it. Everything that has happened for May. I can't believe it is June already. I hope you enjoy reading my post and please comment below. I would love to know some answers. 

May 2016 BIRTHDAY MONTH!!

May 2nd, 2016

So, today is Monday. I had an exhausting weekend trying to get some reno's done for our Trailer. 

I picked out a Grey Colour, the actually name escapes my head right now but once I remember I will edit to put it in or just write an updated blog.. Which will probably happen after everything is done. 

So the list of Reno's we are doing over the next two months is as follows:

Inside:

• Painting the Living Room and Hallway - DONE

• Kitchen is painted but we are putting a subway tile backsplash over it - Sometime this month

• Flooring is being changed out ? 🤔 Possible switching hardwood for tile flooring so much easier and then an area carpet will go down in the Living-room. Being done by the end of the May if we do, do it. 

• Kitchen and Bathroom Counter Tops are being Replaced - Beginning of June

Outside

Picture taken from Pinterest! Will post when ours is done!

• Deck is half built, finishing up this weekend coming!! 

• Campfire being moved over 3 feet and then designed... this is what we have decided on >>>

Before the end of May, since June is when we can start having Fires. 

 

• Our Memorial Garden for Our Angel. This is will be done on July 15th, 2016 a year after our Loss as remembrance plus it gives me a distraction. 😇😭

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Moving on from the Trailer... in other news AF has not shown up yet on CD41 currently and super pissed off. I don't know whats going on with my body as I have been super regular since our first actually cycle in October post miscarriage. Called my doctors which the Nurse called me back and told me they are placing me on Provera Orally and once I get my CD1 after that I can call and we will go forth with the Cycle monitoring plans and stated in my recent post >>> Check out: April 2016 RECAP <<<< for more information.  So, I will being starting tonight and hopefully after 7 days it doesn't take that long to get a period after that. (Internet via google said 3-7 days after I stop taking it which would out me on my vacation I guess this cancels this cycle out 😢) 

April 2016 Recap

Apr. 8th, 2016:

Today we had out appointment with our Fertility Specialist and a plan was laid out. We did Kerotyping/Chromosome testing so, as long as everything comes back normal, the plan is as follows:

Start Preg-vit and Baby Aspirin ASAP

• CD1:    Call in and book blood work and ultrasound for CD3
• CD3:    Hormone Blood Work and Ultrasound, plus start Femara. 
• CD3-7: Femara 
• CD7:    Start testing for ovulation 
• CD10:  Ultrasound 

Ovulation Cycle Day?? and then on CD21 we start Provera internally as precaution and help the embryo to attach properly to my Lining and testing at 12DPO.

If the first cycle fails next cycle will be with IUI. 

-------------------------------------------------

Plan B if tests come back abnormal is to do IVF. 

Apr. 14th, 2016:

We had DD's EEG today. She did amazing!! Did not need any medication to be relaxed. Allowed the nurse to do the test without moving... Thank Goodness for iPads and good thinking Mommy right!? 

-------------------------------------------------

Apr. 28th, 2016:

We got the results everything came back fine with the EEG but unfortunately we still don't know what is causing her blackouts. We do have a scheduled MRI and we have to go and do some genetic testing on her to see if there is anything we haven't ruled out yet.

Apr. 21st, 2016

Hello Mother Nature, Where are you!? Not here... WTH is going on!? Am I pregnant? 😳

Apr. 27th, 2016 

Had my appointment with my Endocrinologist today, Apparently I have Type II diabetes and of course I have Thyroid. I have been placed on Metiformin and have test my sugar and change my diet. I am also on .2mg of Snythyriod.  

Also, had bloodwork today for HCG. Awaiting results. 

------------------------------------------------

Apr. 28th, 2016

HCG came back <*2 so, its negative called my daughters office but she isn't in the office till Monday so, if I still don't have it by Monday I am to call and let them know. 

Apr. 29th, 2016

Happy Birthday to my Middle Daughter!! 

I can't believe She is 6 already!! She has been such a blessing to our lives. Everyday is exciting and she always lightens up our day!! We love our Babygirl!! She went from our quiet baby to I'm Miss Popular!! Dream Big Babygirl! Happy Birthday to our Little Monkey. 

View on Flipagram

Easter 2015 🐰 & Happy Birthday Piglet !

Easter 2015

Easter 2015

We decided to go to the trailer for Easter with the family. We went for Thursday night till Sunday night. The Easter Bunny was great to the girls and they have fun playing with their cousins and they learned how to play different card games since we had no tv and it was too cold to go outside to play.

I hope everyone had a safe and Happy Easter and a great time with family!!


Mar. 29th, 2015 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER!!!
I can't believe she is 4 already, I mean I wish I could stop time and just live in that moment.  It makes me sad to think that she won't be home with me starting July when she enters school. I'll be alone and lost. I have been blessed with being able to stay home with my girls and have my husband working. I have been blessed to watch all of them begin crawling, walking and talking. We have now entered the Potty Training phase and it has not been going well no matter what I do. She gets it and then doesn't get it. I guess it is just something that comes with time. I have been blessed to be able to co-sleep for 4 years, not that it was the plan but is just something we did and have been doing since she was born and I love every minute of it.

We did to birthdays for her one with my parents and one with his family since we were at the trailer and my parents couldn't be there.

View on Flipagram

GYNO/OBYGN Dr. Appointment & CD1

Feb. 25th, 2015

 Today I met the second person in my journey to baby and that was the Gyno/Obgyn that will be taking me on from now, when i achieve pregnancy and then till 12 or 13 weeks. She was nice and the team she has working there is awesome. We discuss what her plans were for me and what she wanted to do before I got pregnant. She wanted me to do my Cycle Monitoring and for those who don't know what that is, basically when you receive CD 1 -which is your first Full Day of bleeding- you call the nurse line and let them know and they will call you back and tell you to come in first time so, 7am CD2 to get blood and an ultrasound. Then she also want me to have a Hysteroscopy - which is where they place a thin camera and a bunch of water of your vagina, into the uterus to get a good look at your insides to make sure there is no scare tissue, blockages, pulp-ups, or fibroids.  I also have a number of blood work to get done and my husband and I have genetic testing at the Hospital to do as well. Follow-up appointment to be scheduled. 

CD1 - 17th of March, 2015. Went for Ultrasound and Blood work. Results unknown. 

Hysteroscopy- 24th of March, 2015. According to the Male dr. that did it, my uterus is as smooth as butter and there is no blockage. 

What just happened!?

Jan. 25th, 2015

So my youngest woke up last night around 1am in her sleep and looks kinda at me kinda forward towards our kitchen. At first I thought she was still sleeping and then she sat there for a good 7 minutes not saying anything just sitting there. I called her no response waited called her again and finally she looked at me and started talking juberish and then came over and started making more sense.
Essentially her "bad dem" was about a giant minion who got into the house and took her to Walmart came back and tried to eat Panda "her cat" and then ate her.
She's never really told me about a dream and she's only even done the unresponsive thing once before a few years ago. I know I should be concerned but seriously this was her first bad dream she could tell me about. I'm very impressed.

This didn't sit well with me so, I am taking her to her PEDS and getting her check-out. Once I told the PED. what happened he was very sure it was an absent Seizure and wants us to go for an EEG and see the Neurologist.

EKG & Echo

Feb. 17, 2015

Had my EKG and Echo today. Everything came back fine and great for going forward. There is nothing wrong with my heart that they can see at this point.

👍🏼 For good news!!

Scentsy World Tour - Toronto

Feb. 5th-7th

This weekend is our World Tour and I am so excited. I have never been to anything Scentsy so the fact that my husband and I are able to go is amazing. We left the girls with my parents and we stayed the at Sheraton Centre Toronto -again- from Friday Evening to Sunday Morning. I love every minute of it except the part my husband decided to leave and go back to the room -but I'll get in to that shortly-.

So, we arrived Friday Evening and we met so many Scentsy Consultants from other Teams and different parts of Ontario. We also, decided to hit up the Disney Store, as our youngest had ben asking for Big Mac from Disney Cars for the longest time and we wanted to see if he was still there from our last visit. Unfortunately, the one we saw just before Christmas was a Christmas Special and sold out, but they did have a smaller Big Mac that we were able to pick up for a lot cheaper. All we knew is that she was going to go nuts -If you're wondering, no we did not pick up anything for the older too and heres our reasoning, the older two are currently in school, they get to go places and do things at this point our youngest can't do being at home. I mean I do take her occasionally bowling and to play places but most of the time we stay home, considering it's winter and the second we go outside she gets sick. Anyway, we do however spoil our each child when we get the chance and when we have the extra money and every time we go to the Dollarstore, my kids favourite place-.

After we finished there we came back to the Hotel and went for a swim, my husband favourite thing to do at a Hotel, I on the other hand love the Hot Tub! Once we had enough of swimming we went back upstairs and went for dinner with a few consultants from my Team. It was nice being able to meet them have a conversation with them. Before we went back to our room, we got word that the owners of Scentsy had appeared and were in the check-in area taking pictures and doing a meet and greet. Of course we all took off and went and got pictures done!! 😂
After that we just hit the sack and went to bed.


WORLD TOUR DAY!! 

5:30am comes early especially when you have to stand in line for an hour waiting for the check-in to open but the Hotel delivered the most delicious breakfast and tea, which was fuel for the next 5 hours. I didn't know what to expect. When you sign up, you pay for your attendance and you also pay for a kit that is put together with all the New items that are coming out for the Spring/Summer collection. You can also add a Tools to Go Kit which has Catalogs, Product Lists and so much more to help you with your business. The guest -my husband- for coming gets a 3 pack of Brand New bars, which by the way smelt fantastic! After checking in they have a table that is all set up with all the New warmers and diffusers for the Spring/Summer 2016 Collection. Let me tell everything was beautifully created and made. The scents smelt amazing and fresh. Once we got into the area with the stage and it started it was fun. We listen to some guest speakers and had 4 scheduled breakout sessions which were training sessions and all of them were very informative and useful and there were things that I learnt that I didn't even know. When we went back for the last half they pulled tickets -that we each got once we checked in- and we won gifts, well not everyone but some people. The best thing about them coming to Canada is they can not take stock back to the states with them so they give it away! We had a blast!

So here's what happen with my husband.

We checked-in and he took off because his phone rang, he basically stayed in the Hotel room the whole time I had my Scentsy thing and it was because he didn't feel included because I was meeting and talking to everyone on my Team that was there and making new relationships and for him, he didn't feel comfortable. I don't understand it, he never really explained but I guess he just has his own way of dealing with things. Everything was alright though. We went to dinner together and a great night together and then we went home the next day and ended our weekend off on a good note. Definitely something I am looking forward too for next year. I am excited!! :D

New Doctor 🏥

Jan. 21st, 2016

Well the day finally has come where I got to meet my new doctor at Mount Sinai. I was nervous, anxious and upset my husband couldn't make because someone has to be there to get our kids off the bus right!? So, we went through my history and she asked about my Stroke back in 2009. I was one of the lucky ones to not have any complications from and she said it probably was because you were so young. In case she order an EKG and Echo as well as a number of blood work and urine. She also refer me to a team of other Dr.'s that she is going to work closely with and make sure that it is same for me to conceive.

So here is the break-down of the Team of Dr.'s:

1. OBGYN/GYNO/Overweight baby Dr. - Mount Sinai- Main Dr. 
2. OBYGN/GYNO - 1st Dr. from Now - 12 weeks 
3. Endocrinologist 
4. Weightless Dr. 

Between this team I am sure to be fixed... -I hope- 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Jan. 11th, 2015

My oldest daughter turns 8 today, thinking back to the day she was born, I remember everything! I can't believe she's already 8 the years have flown on by.

To celebrate we had a Party at our Local Bowling Alley and had a blast. We had two rounds of Bowling, followed by an hour in the Party room for Pizza and Cupcakes. She had a blast and so did her friends that came. I will definitely do this again. It was well worth it.

View on Flipagram

MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄& HAPPY NEW YEAR 🎉

Dec. 24th - 25th, 2015

Not posting much today. Busy with Christmas Traditions and spending time with family but I wanted to pop in and say I hope you all have a Very Merry Christmas and stay safe. :)

Christmas 2015

Jan.1st, 2015

Me, Oldest Daughter & Oldest Niece 

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!  2016!! Can you believe it's already a New Year. I am excited for the year a head. We have Our Trailer to look forward too and I am loving my Scentsy Journey right now. We are also going to finally get our appointment with the doctor that may be able to explain why we can't have a baby. So, I hope everyone is having a safe and enjoyable Holiday and a great New Year!


What are some of your News Years Resolutions. What are you looking forward to this year? Comment Below!

Breakfast Television Christmas Party

Dec. 17th, 2015

Today we brought the girls to stay a Hotel tonight -Sheraton Centre Toronto- because we are attending for the first time ever, the BTXMAS Party that Breakfast Television holds every year. We have been trying to come for the last 7 years but unfortunately timing was not right or money was tight. This year we planned and made it happen! So, we stayed over night and went swimming and we also took the girls into the mall. Now I don't know about you but my kids LOVE American Girl  and thankful Indigo/Chapters in the Eaton Centre (and Yorkdale) have a full section just to give kids the experience. So, we have been in need of a brush for their dolls -well Middle daughter already has one, oldest was getting one for christmas so, she never understand why she need one- and we were able to finally get them one. Youngest we just took to the Disney Store and picked up a Cars package for her.  When we got back into the Hotel we met Kevin Frankish, Diana Pugliese and Frank Ferragin. It was awesome, years of waiting to meet them, just happened within seconds. We had conversations with them and my daughter of course yelled out KEVIN to get his attention. 😂 It worked of course. We went to bed early as it was going to bed an early morning.


Dec. 18th, 2015

5:00am was the time we got up and went down in our Pj's and we party and got to see behind the scenes of how everything was done. Now comes the part that really ticked me off. So I am standing in front behind a few moms and this mom beside me has her carseat with a newborn and her toddler. Well my oldest daughter couldn't see so she pushed her way through the "Adults" and went to where the stage was and sat down. Unfortunately I couldn't see. Well, I got upset because you see my oldest as I have mention before has Autism and will sometimes act silly or can get extremely overwhelmed so, I want to be able to see her and make sure she is ok. This mom was a complete *BEEP*. I mean I am sorry but all I asked was for her to switch places with me so, I can see my child with a disability but no. It was more important for her to be on TV and the fact that she had been there since 4am and her mother who had a walker was way in the back then just moving over some to let me see my kid. Anyway, she ended up leaving and I was pushed out of the way yet again by the other *BEEP* beside her and told that my daughter was important enough. I was livid but tried to keep my cool for the shake of my kids, the tv show and the other 1000 people there. I ended up moving to the side of the stage to sit down because my youngest daughter got sick over EVERYONE in including *BEEEP* #2, which I'm sorry Karma is a .... -you can fill in the blanks-. Once over on the side of the stage my daughter ended up falling a sleep on the stage, my middle daughter keep calling KEVIN, which he was so nice and would acknowledge her every time and would laugh about it.

At the end of the Show, we went for breakfast buffet and then went down to get a picture with the whole BT Crew. I was so excited because I was finally going to get to meet my idol Jennifer Valentine.  After all this we were ready to go home and get some sleep because we were all exhausted. Overall, if you haven't had a change to get this experience yet, I would go but I rate it a 5 and would do it again but maybe not for a few years when the kids are older.

Happy Anniversary! 5 Years! 💏

Dec. 11th

Our Wedding. Niagara Falls, ON Dec. 10th 2010

5 Years! WOW! I can't believe it have made it 5 years already. It's crazy just to think about. A lot has happened in 5 years, we've had 3 beautiful girls, we have gone through crazy loops and bounds to stay from walking out that door... -I mean every marriage has it's breaking point and the certain number of problems right!? no one is perfect- and we have stayed strong through it all. I remember our wedding 5 years ago today, we had a private ceremony with some friends -ones we no longer talk to now- and had the pastor come to our hotel room -at the Sheraton on the Falls, now known as the Marrot Gateway on Niagara Falls- and we had an amazing very intimate moment. It was nice and calming, the after party was hilarious. We went to dinner in the Hotel -formally known as Milestones-and they messed up on my steak to which I didn't eat but the Wine was great and you liked your dinner and then we decided to go back to the room and drink some -although our friends at the time did not want to- then we decided to walk to the casino, in the cold, in my wedding dress and gamble to which we won a good amount of money that night. To then which I froze again with no shoes and walked to the closest restaurant at the time My cousin Vinnie's and had the most amazing Fettuccine Alfredo with mushrooms and sundries tomatoes. Then we went back to our Hotel and called it a night. 😏


Dec. 11th-13th, 2015

This year we decided to go back to Niagara and celebrate our 5 years and enjoy "our time" together. Talk and gambled, and we actually went bowling, to which I enjoy a pint of beer to myself as hubby did not want to drink for whatever reason... it was a good night though. We stayed the night in our original suite which was the Loft Room and then moved into a smaller room -King Room- and had friends come and spend the night with us. We went out on the Town and enjoy the Winter walk and also went through our very first HAUNTED HOUSE! It was crazy, we met another couple that we didn't even know but when you're going through this place you don't care whose there you are grabbing on to someone and just getting through it. There was a guy in the walls and for whatever reason he had a vendetta against my husband and was taunting him, I wish I could imitate the exact voice used but believe me it was the funniest thing, we were all peeing ourselves laughing. Once we finished my husband -the one who never wanted to do these type of things in the first place- wanted to go back in -I finally broke him in- but we decided to go back to the Hotel and the rest of them went to the Casino because me being forgetful forgot my ID at home.

5 Year Anniversary

So I stayed at the Hotel and the Hotel was super sweet and sent us a plate full of Chocolate covered Strawberries -Hershey Chocolate I might add- and champagne -not that wanted to drink- and watched a movie and ate the strawberries. The next morning we left around 11am and got home and spent the night with the girls. Overall I can't wait for our 10th because we are definitely going away maybe Las Vegas Nevada? 😜

*More pictures to come soon.

CP Rail Holiday Train 🚂

Dec. 1st, 2015

Today we took our youngest to see the CP Rail Holiday Train. We had no idea that this train even existed, until it came up on my Facebook News Feed. It's free, all you do is bring a Food Donation and they have Free Hot Chocolate and a free toy for the child. Santa comes and the train rolls in and they have a free concert. It was so much fun! The smile on my little girls face was priceless. Definitely pulling her out of school next year for this, new tradition with her. It's her only time with Mom and Dad.

If you haven't heard of it or haven't checked it out. Look it up in your town and look at the schedule. It goes across Canada.

Happy Birthday Hunnie! 🎂🎈

Nov. 16, 2015

My husband's birthday is today and usually we have someone watch the girls and go out to dinner -usually Mandarin, his favourite place- and a movie -it was the Twilight Series, then it became The Hungry Games- but this year was different. He just wanted to go To his all time favourite place East Side Mario's for dinner to enjoy his day with his girls. We had a nice dinner and they gave him a little mouse cake and we sang Happy Birthday. It was kinda nice. I did get a few pictures unfortunately not of him because my phone died 😑 so here are two from that night. 

Hunnie here is to many more birthdays with you! I hope you had an amazing day today! Love you. 💕

Santa Claus Parade 2015

Nov. 15th, 2015

 We took the girls to the Santa Claus Parade this year down in Toronto. We have never been so was an experience we have been trying to do forever. The girls got to ride the subway down and we got Tim Hortons and got to see all the amazing floats up close, take pictures with the clowns -that i DID not like hence my fear of clowns- and also, one special picture the Major of Toronto himself! It was a great time and to see the smiles on the girls faces just made my heart feel warm and blessed. ☺️

Happy Thanksgiving!! 🦃🍽🍷

October 9th-12th, 2015

I hope everyone is having a great long weekend with their families and friends! We went to the trailer this weekend and had an amazing Thanksgiving.


We also.....



BOUGHT A TRAILER!!

Just a few pictures of the inside of the trailer

We are so excited and are bummed that we can't stay in it for more then one night but it's ours and its the best $3,500 investment I believe we have ever made. This trailer is a house trailer. It has 3 bedrooms, a full-size bathroom, a kitchen and a living room. In a few years we can place this trailer on land and eventually add onto it and make it our home. So basically we just bought our house. Over the next few months we have plans to repaint the inside because the previous owners painted it this disgusting yellow colour that looks horrible and covered up the original wallpaper which is sad but it was nice and we are replacing the counter top. We will also have to replace the toilet and the counter top in the bathroom but like I said we will have to save over the next few months till April 2016 in order to afford everything.

We have NEW Kittens!! 🐱

Oct. 9th, 2015

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABIES!! 

Well at 1am this morning my cat decided to go into labour with her second litter and I got to watch the whole thing. It was probably the most amazing thing I have seen! I even got to hold them immediately after birth to make sure that they were ok.  She had 5 all together and oh man the process and the length of time it takes to have kittens gives me a new outlook on labour. I mean seriously, she has no pain killers and let me tell you it took a good 3 hours for all the babies to be fully delivered, thats insane. My poor Cupcake.  Oh and guess where she decided to give birth... under my couch. Yup she ripped apart the undercover of my couch and made herself a little dwelling. The only reason I knew she was giving birth was because I heard the smallest little meow ever! It was like my girls before born all over again, that first cry. I got to hear that from a kitten! Amazing! I wish I could keep them all! And it sucks that I am leaving for the long weekend of Thanksgiving.

Graduation Day 🎓

October 8th, 2015

So, I haven't shared yet that through all the drama in my life, I was at least putting my mind else where and to good use. I graduated today!!

I started schooling for college at home through MacTech Distance Education, for Creative Digital Media. It took longer then planned and expected but I have learned over the last few months that nothing goes as planned but given everything I had been through I was glad to have finished!

I graduated at the top of my class with a 95 overall and on the honour roll and I couldn't be prouder of myself!!

It is the best feeling in the world, that not only did I complete something for the future career I want but I also showed my girls that no matter what happens in life, if you put your mind to something you will accomplish it.




*picture of my all my grades. Blank spaces means no assignment was needed for that part of the course. 

Sonogram Results, Appointment and New Specialist 😒

Sept. 17th 2015

After having the Sonogram, I was told that I would receive a call within two days with an appointment to go over everything including blood work results. Well I never did. So, I figured they were just busy and I decided to call. What I was told was that over the last two days the office had gone for a tailspin because my Dr. had decided to take a personal leave of ascents and was not returning to her current position but to a different one. We would be able to see the Male specialist that was in the same clinic if we wanted or they would refer us to her colleague -might I add that this colleague was an additional 30 minutes away from me but was female- or I could find another practice and they would send my file free of charge to them.

I decided to be referred to the female specialist and I prefer them over the male dr. -bad experience, not sharing- and give in to the 30 minute travel time it would take to get there.

Sept. 24th, 2015

Well we met with the new doctor today and boy was she rude! I have never been more insulted by an adult in my life. Basically, she looked at me and because I am overweight, she was not comfortable taking me on as a patient and therefore, referred to me an OB/GYNO doctor at a Hospital. In my head I took it as "sorry you're too fat and I can't/will not help you". 

This is not what I had planned. I was hoping to have all my results and a plan for October to start TTC'ing again but for whatever reason, I am being tossed around like a frisbee.

Sonogram

Sept. 14th, 2015

Went for my Sonogram today and she thought that she found more left over tissue. So upset. I was hoping that this nightmare was over and unfortunately, now we may to do another flush. Super frustrated and upset. 

First Day of School! 😀

Today was the first day back to school for my two oldest girls and they were excited. Every year on the first day, I go with them and we find their classroom or line up outside and meet the teacher. This year my oldest was entering Grade 2 and my middle daughter was entering SK so she had the same teacher as in JK.  

Afterwards, my youngest and I went home and got things in order because our house was in chaos. We had laundry and everything that needed to be done and the rooms needed to be cleaned and the carpet needed shampooing and with just one little girl home -who is my little helper i might add- it got down faster then expected. So, we had time to relax. After school since it was a gorgeous day out I decided to take the girls to the park and enjoy the last few days of Summer and tire them out. 😂😏😜

September 1-5 -Family Vacation and Mother Nature!? 😳

So, with it being almost school time again, my husband and I had planned a little family vacation. We have dealt with a lot the last two months so, we really want to give the kids something else to remember other then the past two months.

Day 1

We left September 1st and we stayed at the Four Points By Sheridan Hotel, which we loved the last time we went down. I had just recently re-joined Scentsy so, on this trip with it being the 1st of the month, I had a huge order to place and need the internet to do so. Well everything was going well. We had dinner at East Side Mario's and went to Clifton Hill. When we got back and we got the girls ready for bed and bunker down for the night. At 1am the internet shut down on me so, I called technical support -yes call me crazy but when you have a job to do, it needs to get down right!?- they were able to fix it for me but within half an hour it went down again so, I decided just to go to bed and try again in the morning.

Day 2

Horrible! Well we had a good day as a family but I was in so much pain once we came back from out activities that day, that all I wanted to do was relax and get the order in and unfortunately, the complimentary internet was not working again! At this point I was annoyed so, my husband went down and talked to the manager -who was great- and we switched rooms where it worked but 10 minutes in and it stopped working. Apparently they were having problems with their serves and unfortunately it being "complimentary" they couldn't guarantee anything and if were unhappy we could leave the Hotel and find some where else to stay. I was flabbergasted.  I mean are you kidding me!? We came to stay in their hotel because they had everything conveniently located downstairs -arcade, restaurants and more- and that is how we are being treated. So, we did as we were told and went to the DoubleTree by Hilton.

Let me begin to tell you the difference between the hotels and the beauty within this hotel. I mean you walk in -unfortunately they do not have people to help you to your room but they have the trolley's- and you are in a grand entrance with the check-in to your left and a huge fireplace in front of you and wood cravings everywhere.  It was just breath taking and more peaceful. The bedroom was great we had two Queen size beds and a crib, a desk and a two dressers with a tv and a full-size bathroom with a tub plus we could see the Falls from our window. The pool was salt water and not chlorine which which felt amazing! It left your skin feeling smooth and clean 🙂.

After that we decided to find some where for dinner and we were able to find a Hotdog & Hamburger stand down the road behind the hotel -I know really!? - well it was so good and the lady there was super nice and we had a good conversation. After we hit up a Wal-mart since Mother Nature was in town, hubby wanted me to join them in a swim so we needed tampons to allow me to do that. -TMI ALERT!-

Day 3-5

 Were fantastic! We got the Adventure Pass Plus and went to all the attraction below, plus we had access to the bus for 72 hours which was so convenient when you have a family.

You get to choice which days you want to do each activity so it doesn't all have to be done in one day and you get to see a lot of Niagara and the culture. Our favourite I think was the Aero Car. You actually enter the States 3 times without needing a passport since we weren't getting off. Our other favourite -well for me and my youngest- was The Butterfly Conservatory. They have the most beautiful collection of real life butterflies that you walk through and they can land on you and fly around you. I will though that if you are travelling with a stroller it is not easily accessible since there are paths with steps and its not all levelled so my umbrella story got stuck more then a few times. Another Favourite was the Niagara's Fury, its a 4D animation of the Journey of the falls and its meant for all ages because they make it animated with characters the kids will love.

Also, they had a light show when we went down. It was really neat. There was a concert with a band -I don't remember the name unfortunately- they were so good. We danced in the park and then at 8:30pm right beside us was a giant Water show that took us on another journey about how the falls was created and the future of the falls. When I say water I mean it was an illumination done within water. It was the coolest thing I have ever seen.

So, overall our Trip turned out amazing and we are definitely planning next year! We see this being an annual trip a New Family Tradition.

August 30th, 2015

CD1 - Mother Nature showed up today. FINALLY! The official flush has begun. Now we can soon start TTC'ing again but she sure knows when to plan her timing right. Ugh!

August 18th-27th, 2015 - Promentrium 

So, I am going to be honest with you, this medication was not fun at all. It was HELL! I'll explain why but first here are all the Side effects that you can get:

• nausea
• bloating
• breast tenderness
• headache
• change in vaginal discharge
• mood swings
• blurred vision
• dizziness 
• drowsiness 

This is what the internal form looks like

Now I have bolded the ones that I got but another side effect that is not listed there should be Hip Pain! OMG! The pain that was in my hips basically kept me from walking or moving. I did call the nurse 5 days in and explain the side effect I was having and she advise me to stop taking the medication and she would speak with the Dr. to get me a new medication right away but after talking with her a second time once she got the new medication prescription, we both agreed I only had a few mores days and I was done and to change now could mess up when I were to bleed, which would be within 7 days or so of taking the medication.   To take the medication, I had to place it inside my vagina with an applicator, at the same time each night and it is recommended that you do not move after it is inserted so once you've placed it you have to stay laying down for the rest of the time. I would put it in every night around 11pm. Once I finished the medication my hip pain went away within a few days and then it was just the waiting game for CD1. 

August 12th, 2015 - First Visit with A Fertility Specialist

So, today I went for my first visit with a New Fertility Dr. in hopes of conceiving again and possibly finding out why I miscarried. As my husband and I met with the Dr., She seemed nice and honestly very comforting. She did an internal ultrasound right in her office and my husband was actually allowed to come in -if I wanted- and she explained everything she was looking at on the screen. She told me that there was still some tissue left over and that she wanted to try and do a flush with Promentrium and she also wanted to refer me for a Sonogram to get a better look at things. I explained that I had never had one and she explained that, I would take a medication before hand that would prevent any infection an hour before the proceeder and then at the time she would insert a solution that would light up my uterus so, she could get a look at everything.

After meeting with her, we went for blood work -both myself and my husband-, now my husband has not had blood work since he was little and HATES needles so this was kinda fun, knowing it was his turn for pain. 😂 They took 15 things of blood from me that day and 10 from my husband. They were great and gave us orange juice and a cookie and I said "I feel like I just donated blood!" as a joke since that is what they give you at a blood donation clinic.

Afterwards, we were taken with the nurse to discuss everything that the clinic offers and the schedule breakdown and other tests that the Dr. wanted us to go for. I was given a ton of paper work and the prescription and we were told that she would see me after my Sonogram and when they get all the results.

August 7-8th 2015 - Random trip to Niagara Falls, ON

We took a trip today with our oldest DD and a good friend of ours and her son. It was kinda on whim since we only had one child at the time. My husband really wanted to go To Niagara Falls and get out of the City and since my good friend and I already had plans together on the Saturday, I called her up and said "Get ready we are leaving within the hour to come and get you, we are going to Niagara for the weekend!" At first she thought I was crazy and then she realized I was being honest and got on board. We rushed home (we were out at the time) and I got clothes together called my parents to watch our dog Minnie and my husband took care of the reservations! Then we got on the road. We had a blast with the kids. We took them to MarineLand for the very 1st time -last time I went I was 2.5 years old - which was so much fun and the deer were hilarious all I can say is don't bring an ice-cream cone in with you, because they will chase you until you either finish it or give in and give it to them! Haha 😂

My Miscarriage Story

April/May 2015

My second cycle on Femara was alright. I didn’t become a horrible person this time but I did have some nausea but all in all it was ok. I ovulated on CD19 once again and this time the wait was horrible. I just wanted this month to be our cycle. CD12 two days before my birthday in May I tested and I thought that I saw a line. It was faint, horribly faint but it was there. i was literally feeling sick to my stomach. May 12th - MY BIRTHDAY!! WOOHOOO. 27!! We were going to dinner and with dinner meant I could have a drink but then my husband came home and threw a test on the counter and said here before we go anywhere. So, off I went to pee in a cup and test. I placed in on the counter and covered it. I waited the 5 minutes and went back and although in my head I was like I don’t even know why i am bothering its negative but it wasn’t! I got my birthday gift. I am pregnant!! 

The First doctors visits

The next few days were blood work and confirmation. I remember sitting in a walk-in clinic and the doctor coming back and saying I am so sorry but its negative and I said are you sure… because I have had 3 positives at home. Ok, lets do some blood work. While I was leaving with my 3 year old in hand I went to where my test was on the counter and looked at it. I saw it there were two lines. The test just takes the 5 minutes it needs to finish. It was there. She came out of the room with another patient and i showed it to her. She confirmed and apologized and said do the blood work. So, i went and did the blood work and the 24 hours was horrible. I called I think 7 times and finally the clerk said ok I will call, then call you back. She did and levels were 38. Not a great number… its too low. The doctor wants to see you again she said. So, off I went back to the office. This time it was a different walk in doctor and he said I don’t like your numbers but lets do another to make sure it is going up. So, off I went to do blood work again and to my surprise it did go up. My 48hr blood work 138 still not great but I was taking it. I made an appointment with my OB. 

June 2015

I had my ultrasound at 6 weeks and 5 days around the second week of June and heard and saw the heartbeat for the first time. When seeing the ultrasound something told me that this pregnancy wasn't going to go well, something wasn't right but I was so excited and overwhelmed with joy that I didn't let it take over. On June 24, 2015 I had my first OB appointment ... from what I counted I should of been around 8 weeks or so from my ultrasound, which she sent us for another.

6 weeks and 3 days

The First time and last time we heard out babies heartbeat!

8 weeks and 5 days

After the ultrasound, my heart sank. I knew that there was definitely something and the baby was not properly forming but my doctor said everything is good with the heartbeat and there is nothing to worry about so, I went on not worrying. 

July 1st, 2015 

Happy Canada Day!! 🇨🇦

We had such a great time at Canada's Wonderland with family and our girls.. I made sure to take an easy and sit when I could and not attempt the rides that were so much fun. We had such a long day that it was nice to see the Fireworks!

July 6-10th, 2015

I started having this brownish discharge. I never paid a whole lot of attention to it but I did call my doctor and she told me she wanted me on bed rest for the time being and that if it got worse to head to the ER. So for 3 days I was couch bound. My husband stayed home to watch our 3 year old and get the girls to and from school and take care of the house chores. Then on Friday, July 10th it got worse, to the point it was coming out in clumps. My husband rushed me to the ER, I was sure I was miscarrying and the baby we loved before we convinced was gone but after the ultrasound, the doctor (whom was amazing) told me that everything was fine, I had a subchorionic hematoma. I asked if there was a chance for miscarriage and he said yes, sometimes it can send a clot through the umbilical cord and block it which then the baby has no oxygen. I was scared.. I was angry, confused, frustrated but he told me to go home and take an easy and only to move to go to the bathroom. Again, here is my poor husband who needs to work and take care of the family once again but we all have to make sacrifices somethings right?

July 15th, 2015

THE WORST & HARDEST DAY EVER!! 

Today my baby was found without a heartbeat. I can't explained to you the feelings I have right now. I am devastated. The hardest thing I believe you can ever go through in life is losing a child. A child that you never got to hold or meet.  I can remember the days to follow were very emotionally draining and difficult. I remember coming home and having to tell my kids that their baby brother/sister had died and wouldn't be coming home but instead was now sitting with the Lord himself in Heaven with their Nana Helen (Husband's Mom). Knowing that they were young and probably not understand what was actually happening was the hard for me. I expected tears and questions but got nothing, except I'm sorry Mommy, I love you, which meant so much. My OB had given me medication (called Misoprostol) to physically abort the baby, which my husband was not to keen on. The first thing I had asked my doctor for was a D&C since knowing my body does not take well to medication and I knew that it -misoprostol- would not work. She denied my claim and said give this a try first and we'll go from there. You should start this as soon as possible. Well my husband wanted me to wait. He wanted a second opinion because he was in the state of Denial. I on the other hand didn't know if I could wait.

July 16th, 2015 - Afternoon

My husband had been at work and I was at home, my parents had come and got the girls for the weekend, as I was in no shape to take care of them. I couldn't even think. I wanted to sleep. Well I woke up that afternoon numb and just thinking of having the baby still inside of me not alive was making me sick. So, I decided to give the medication a try and started with the first pill. I didn't feel anything that night, just some cramping.

July 17th, 2015

I took my second dose, at 10am and by 1pm everything just started to come out. The pressure, cramps were unbearable. I cried as I ran to the bathroom and felt it all. I remember after I though that it was done I stood up and went to pull up my pants only to feel something gross and look down to find the baby! Yes my baby was in my underwear. I sat back down on the toilet grab a tissue and picked it up and stared at it. UTTER SHOCK!! DISBELIEF! I called my sister - in- law right away and said I think I just gave birth to my baby. She was like WHAT THE!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? I said NOPE. I am holding it right now. It hand hands, a spin and a head with two black eyes. The rest of the night I was in so much pain, with the kids gone I broke down like cried out in agony with my husband trying to comfort me, well trying to comfort himself. I was in so much pain. I took my third dose of the medication and the pain was horrid. If anyone told me that the pain you go through is the 10x worst then giving birth I would give birth a 1000 x over then. My dear husband eventually went up to his mothers and got me a heating pad and I also had pain killers Oxy's. I took two of those and eventually fell a sleep.

July 19th, 2015

Well, I woke up that morning feeling alright, although I had the runs all Saturday and that morning so we decided to get out and go to the mall just to have something fixed and looked at, at the Apple Store. Well in the process, I had to stop every 10 minutes for the bathroom and before this my bleeding had basically slowed down but once at the mall the bleeding and pain started to get worse and I felt like my uterus was contracting really bad. I ended up at the hospital keeling over. They were able to get my in to Acute care once I explained everything and get me an ultrasound, which came back fine and emptied. I cried the whole way home, which they again gave me more oxy;s and sent me home.

July 21st, 2015

I woke up with unbearable pain and unfortunately I had my kids home and my husband at work and there was nothing that I could do. So, I waited for him to get home and at that point I was over it, I wanted answers as of to why I was in so much pain again. So, off to the hospital I went again. This time the good doctor checked me and notice that there was still tissue trying to come out but was stuck and he couldn't grab it with the tools they had in the ER so, he called an OB on call and they came and assessed me and get me an ultrasound which showed lots of left over tissue. At this point the only thing left to do was a D&C. So, at 10pm that night was brought into the OR that night, afterwards they brought me to the general surgery floor and at 2:30am I was released from the hospital to go home and rest. The next couple of weeks were much better.  We tried to just take time as a family and enjoy each other. We also went to Build a Bear and made a bear -which we named Gabriel as our baby is now an Angel of the Lord - with my baby's heart beat in it and also a heartbeat that they have for our baby with the baby remains inside (doctor confined that it was our baby) - which we cremated -. ♥︎

RIP Gabriel!! We love you Forever & Always! Even though we never got to meet you, You will always be our baby. Just an Angel and live in our hearts forever! ♥︎