Twelve Week Ultrasound

Monday morning was probably the worst morning I have ever had. I hardly slept the night before. - If you haven't already and would like to here is the link to my direct miscarriage story last year.- Now once you read that you'll understand exactly where I am coming from or you may have done through this yourself.

Anyway, as I was saying I was extremely nervous, my aniexty was in full force and I was just wanting to get the ultrasound over with.  We arrived at the hospital for our appointment (DH came with) and we checked in. Once checked in you're asked to wait in the waiting room with other VERY pregnant women and in my head I was thinking, oh how I wish I didn't have to worry about anything and I want to just get there and be that big and out of breath and be able to feel my baby move. I couldn't talk to anyone, I couldn't think. It was an insane feeling for me. I have never been this way in any pregnancy but since my losses it has been hard. It felt like I was in a bad dream and it was never going to end.

We waited for a good hour before the one tech called me in and she wasn't like the last tech I had for my first ultrasound at the hospital. She was professional and kinda rude - Rant: which honestly I don't understand. If you're going to work with people who are pregnant and you're going to be in kinda personal space then i think you should be somewhat of a professional but also a people person. There is no reason be rude. End of Rant - she told me to lay on the bed and put my end at the very top and lay still so, I did just that. She told me to relax and i told her that all I wanted to know was if there was a heartbeat or not. She said how come and I said that I had a miscarriage last year at 12 weeks and just was going nuts. She started ultrasound and the only thing she said to me was you have a jumping bean with a great heartbeat.

The feeling of relief is unreal. I don't even know how to explain the feeling that came over me in the moment. My emotions were all over the place, I felt like I could just cry tears of joy in that moment but I also wanted to scream with happiness and thank the lord for allowing me to carry a child again.

Anyway the appointment went. Doctor said that everything is great. Baby has no sign of down syndrome at this point and I go back for my next appointment on September 21st.

I announced out pregnancy to Facebook world yesterday and I was overly excited to share the news. I know that this will have a great outcome and I am so very thankful for this baby.

Update... It's Been To Long!

Hey everyone,


I know I haven't been around much in the past two months and I apologize. I mean I do have a valid explanation for it... Its a practical one. Really...

First the girls finished school and started camp and it was an awesome 6 weeks... wrong.. it was alright for the first two and then I got the call that would make any parent cringe, CAS wanted to make a visit Why!? You ask well here is what happen: I set my girls to school and DD#1 has Autism and ADHD, well she is a special one I tell ya, she decided to mention she was hungry, my kids HATE breakfast in the morning so I send them with extra snacks to get them through the day. Anyway, as I was saying, she mention she was angry to one of her Camp Leaders and that Camp Leader i guess had a problem with the way she dressed, mind you I don't send my kids in rags, but she did and then she came to the conclusion we had no food in our home and we were starving our kids. Well let me tell you when I got this call how LIVID I was. It was like seriously, she is always hungry and she never stops eating...if I don't put my foot down she would eat me out of house and home but really I was crazy mad and I went picked up my girls from Camp and got a hold of the principle running it and she was like "I am so sorry, the call was made before I could explain to the girl about Hailie." the principle knows my girls very well, we have a great relationship. Anyway they came and did there investigation and this girl seemed genuine. I mean we believed her when she said that she didn't have any concerns and everything was great at home and that there may be a few things we need to fix... like our mattress is on the floor with our a bed frame because it broke and we aren't sleeping on it but for reasons I had to split up my girls sleeping arrangements so, because DD#1 is sleeping on our mattress in our room we need to get another bed frame. Anyway, after two weeks and the annoyance of this girl just trying to find something wrong with our parenting, she finally closed the file. That was a great sigh of relief... I tell ya this parenting thing is not easy but we try our best!

Moving On......

So, that was one of the reasons I haven't been around for the last 2 months. You see it's time for a fertility update:

So, as I started in my last update May Recap, I updated you regarding my cycle.. well May 30th they started me on CD3 and on my Femara 5mg for cycles day 3-7. I went back June 9th to measure my follicles and to my surprise 1.7 and 1.9cm. I was thrilled. They told me I should ovulate within the next few days. Well I did the next day June 10th I ovulated!! OMG!! I was thrilled. Of course we BD and I took an easy the rest of the weekend but it was great to know that this could be it. I tested the next day and knew my TWW was starting and I was scared and nervous but I knew that if it was meant to happen it would. Well I am proud to say that June 21st 11dpo I found out we were expecting out RAINBOW baby and I was ecstatic. We are currently 11 weeks and I am finally almost over the horrible morning sickness... I can't eat dairy, meat or anything else that smells except for pickles!!

Our Rainbow Baby

May 2016 Recap

Ok so I know that it has been a while since my last post and I sincerely apologize but it has been a really busy month. As you know I left off with the trailer needing some work and it got done! I am so happy with how it all turned out.  So, here is an update for everything that happened in May.

Trailer AFTER Photo :) 

We finished painting the trailer! No more pukey yellow. I couldn't stand it. I love this settle grey colour that, yes I picked out. It makes it look so much bigger and I love the shock of people that had seen it before coming in and are just blow away!!

We still have some things left to do, the backsplash in the kitchen being one. We haven't decided if we're changing the counter tops or not. I think with the colour it looks really good. We also got Tv and internet working, which I love! It's not the greatest speed but it will definitely do. 

Question: Where you do like to go for your Holidays? Comment Below.

May the 4th be with you!!

May 4th, 2016 is Star Wars Day & We had kittens, and this time I was helping her with the birth. It was very awkward. So, I am sitting there eating with my youngest daughter and Cupcake comes up to me and she's whining. I thought she wanted water so, I got up and saw that it was empty, opps! So, I filled it and went back to eating my lunch. She came back. This time she was louder and I thought I saw something sticking out of her so I went to check and guys let me tell you, she was soaked because her water and broken and I touched it! EWWW!!! 😳😖 Anyway, all the babies were born healthy and we got a surprise she ended up having 4 and then she had one in the wee morning of May 5th, now we have 5!! 😻

May 4th, 2016
1st picture is 4 just moments after birth! 2nd picture is all 5, May 5th and the last picture was taken at 5 days old. 

May 12th, 2016

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! 

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TTC update:

So, in my last blog I had left you with me taking Provera. I ended up getting my period after 3 days of finishing the medication on May 13th, I took Femara CD3-7 2.5mg to help with ovulation. I went in to my doctors for blood work and ultrasound on CD12 and had 1 follicle on my right ovary that measured 1cm and my lining was 6.9. The blood work was any better but we were hopefully and we were instruction to BD on Saturday. I then went in this past Tuesday CD19 (June 30th), to find out that my follicle had shrunk to 0.9 and lining was only 7.3 which means I never ovulated. So, now they started me again on Femara and CD19 turned into CD3 and I am taking 5mg instead of 2.5mg. I am hoping that this is our cycle, and that the medication works. I plan on using Pre-seed and the Diva Cup for a better outcome but first I have to have the eggs first right. 

Question:What did you do to help to produce good eggs? Comment Below!

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Family update:

We are MOVING!! We found a really nice older house right by the kids school and the backyard is huge. I will have picture shortly after we are settle in. I am kinda sad leaving this place behind, we have some bad memories here but we also have a lot of good. 

So, there you have it. Everything that has happened for May. I can't believe it is June already. I hope you enjoy reading my post and please comment below. I would love to know some answers. 

May 2016 BIRTHDAY MONTH!!

May 2nd, 2016

So, today is Monday. I had an exhausting weekend trying to get some reno's done for our Trailer. 

I picked out a Grey Colour, the actually name escapes my head right now but once I remember I will edit to put it in or just write an updated blog.. Which will probably happen after everything is done. 

So the list of Reno's we are doing over the next two months is as follows:

Inside:

• Painting the Living Room and Hallway - DONE

• Kitchen is painted but we are putting a subway tile backsplash over it - Sometime this month

• Flooring is being changed out ? 🤔 Possible switching hardwood for tile flooring so much easier and then an area carpet will go down in the Living-room. Being done by the end of the May if we do, do it. 

• Kitchen and Bathroom Counter Tops are being Replaced - Beginning of June

Outside

Picture taken from Pinterest! Will post when ours is done!

• Deck is half built, finishing up this weekend coming!! 

• Campfire being moved over 3 feet and then designed... this is what we have decided on >>>

Before the end of May, since June is when we can start having Fires. 

 

• Our Memorial Garden for Our Angel. This is will be done on July 15th, 2016 a year after our Loss as remembrance plus it gives me a distraction. 😇😭

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Moving on from the Trailer... in other news AF has not shown up yet on CD41 currently and super pissed off. I don't know whats going on with my body as I have been super regular since our first actually cycle in October post miscarriage. Called my doctors which the Nurse called me back and told me they are placing me on Provera Orally and once I get my CD1 after that I can call and we will go forth with the Cycle monitoring plans and stated in my recent post >>> Check out: April 2016 RECAP <<<< for more information.  So, I will being starting tonight and hopefully after 7 days it doesn't take that long to get a period after that. (Internet via google said 3-7 days after I stop taking it which would out me on my vacation I guess this cancels this cycle out 😢) 

April 2016 Recap

Apr. 8th, 2016:

Today we had out appointment with our Fertility Specialist and a plan was laid out. We did Kerotyping/Chromosome testing so, as long as everything comes back normal, the plan is as follows:

Start Preg-vit and Baby Aspirin ASAP

• CD1:    Call in and book blood work and ultrasound for CD3
• CD3:    Hormone Blood Work and Ultrasound, plus start Femara. 
• CD3-7: Femara 
• CD7:    Start testing for ovulation 
• CD10:  Ultrasound 

Ovulation Cycle Day?? and then on CD21 we start Provera internally as precaution and help the embryo to attach properly to my Lining and testing at 12DPO.

If the first cycle fails next cycle will be with IUI. 

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Plan B if tests come back abnormal is to do IVF. 

Apr. 14th, 2016:

We had DD's EEG today. She did amazing!! Did not need any medication to be relaxed. Allowed the nurse to do the test without moving... Thank Goodness for iPads and good thinking Mommy right!? 

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Apr. 28th, 2016:

We got the results everything came back fine with the EEG but unfortunately we still don't know what is causing her blackouts. We do have a scheduled MRI and we have to go and do some genetic testing on her to see if there is anything we haven't ruled out yet.

Apr. 21st, 2016

Hello Mother Nature, Where are you!? Not here... WTH is going on!? Am I pregnant? 😳

Apr. 27th, 2016 

Had my appointment with my Endocrinologist today, Apparently I have Type II diabetes and of course I have Thyroid. I have been placed on Metiformin and have test my sugar and change my diet. I am also on .2mg of Snythyriod.  

Also, had bloodwork today for HCG. Awaiting results. 

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Apr. 28th, 2016

HCG came back <*2 so, its negative called my daughters office but she isn't in the office till Monday so, if I still don't have it by Monday I am to call and let them know. 

Apr. 29th, 2016

Happy Birthday to my Middle Daughter!! 

I can't believe She is 6 already!! She has been such a blessing to our lives. Everyday is exciting and she always lightens up our day!! We love our Babygirl!! She went from our quiet baby to I'm Miss Popular!! Dream Big Babygirl! Happy Birthday to our Little Monkey. 

View on Flipagram

GYNO/OBYGN Dr. Appointment & CD1

Feb. 25th, 2015

 Today I met the second person in my journey to baby and that was the Gyno/Obgyn that will be taking me on from now, when i achieve pregnancy and then till 12 or 13 weeks. She was nice and the team she has working there is awesome. We discuss what her plans were for me and what she wanted to do before I got pregnant. She wanted me to do my Cycle Monitoring and for those who don't know what that is, basically when you receive CD 1 -which is your first Full Day of bleeding- you call the nurse line and let them know and they will call you back and tell you to come in first time so, 7am CD2 to get blood and an ultrasound. Then she also want me to have a Hysteroscopy - which is where they place a thin camera and a bunch of water of your vagina, into the uterus to get a good look at your insides to make sure there is no scare tissue, blockages, pulp-ups, or fibroids.  I also have a number of blood work to get done and my husband and I have genetic testing at the Hospital to do as well. Follow-up appointment to be scheduled. 

CD1 - 17th of March, 2015. Went for Ultrasound and Blood work. Results unknown. 

Hysteroscopy- 24th of March, 2015. According to the Male dr. that did it, my uterus is as smooth as butter and there is no blockage. 

EKG & Echo

Feb. 17, 2015

Had my EKG and Echo today. Everything came back fine and great for going forward. There is nothing wrong with my heart that they can see at this point.

👍🏼 For good news!!

New Doctor 🏥

Jan. 21st, 2016

Well the day finally has come where I got to meet my new doctor at Mount Sinai. I was nervous, anxious and upset my husband couldn't make because someone has to be there to get our kids off the bus right!? So, we went through my history and she asked about my Stroke back in 2009. I was one of the lucky ones to not have any complications from and she said it probably was because you were so young. In case she order an EKG and Echo as well as a number of blood work and urine. She also refer me to a team of other Dr.'s that she is going to work closely with and make sure that it is same for me to conceive.

So here is the break-down of the Team of Dr.'s:

1. OBGYN/GYNO/Overweight baby Dr. - Mount Sinai- Main Dr. 
2. OBYGN/GYNO - 1st Dr. from Now - 12 weeks 
3. Endocrinologist 
4. Weightless Dr. 

Between this team I am sure to be fixed... -I hope- 

Sonogram Results, Appointment and New Specialist 😒

Sept. 17th 2015

After having the Sonogram, I was told that I would receive a call within two days with an appointment to go over everything including blood work results. Well I never did. So, I figured they were just busy and I decided to call. What I was told was that over the last two days the office had gone for a tailspin because my Dr. had decided to take a personal leave of ascents and was not returning to her current position but to a different one. We would be able to see the Male specialist that was in the same clinic if we wanted or they would refer us to her colleague -might I add that this colleague was an additional 30 minutes away from me but was female- or I could find another practice and they would send my file free of charge to them.

I decided to be referred to the female specialist and I prefer them over the male dr. -bad experience, not sharing- and give in to the 30 minute travel time it would take to get there.

Sept. 24th, 2015

Well we met with the new doctor today and boy was she rude! I have never been more insulted by an adult in my life. Basically, she looked at me and because I am overweight, she was not comfortable taking me on as a patient and therefore, referred to me an OB/GYNO doctor at a Hospital. In my head I took it as "sorry you're too fat and I can't/will not help you". 

This is not what I had planned. I was hoping to have all my results and a plan for October to start TTC'ing again but for whatever reason, I am being tossed around like a frisbee.

Sonogram

Sept. 14th, 2015

Went for my Sonogram today and she thought that she found more left over tissue. So upset. I was hoping that this nightmare was over and unfortunately, now we may to do another flush. Super frustrated and upset. 

August 30th, 2015

CD1 - Mother Nature showed up today. FINALLY! The official flush has begun. Now we can soon start TTC'ing again but she sure knows when to plan her timing right. Ugh!

August 18th-27th, 2015 - Promentrium 

So, I am going to be honest with you, this medication was not fun at all. It was HELL! I'll explain why but first here are all the Side effects that you can get:

• nausea
• bloating
• breast tenderness
• headache
• change in vaginal discharge
• mood swings
• blurred vision
• dizziness 
• drowsiness 

This is what the internal form looks like

Now I have bolded the ones that I got but another side effect that is not listed there should be Hip Pain! OMG! The pain that was in my hips basically kept me from walking or moving. I did call the nurse 5 days in and explain the side effect I was having and she advise me to stop taking the medication and she would speak with the Dr. to get me a new medication right away but after talking with her a second time once she got the new medication prescription, we both agreed I only had a few mores days and I was done and to change now could mess up when I were to bleed, which would be within 7 days or so of taking the medication.   To take the medication, I had to place it inside my vagina with an applicator, at the same time each night and it is recommended that you do not move after it is inserted so once you've placed it you have to stay laying down for the rest of the time. I would put it in every night around 11pm. Once I finished the medication my hip pain went away within a few days and then it was just the waiting game for CD1. 

August 12th, 2015 - First Visit with A Fertility Specialist

So, today I went for my first visit with a New Fertility Dr. in hopes of conceiving again and possibly finding out why I miscarried. As my husband and I met with the Dr., She seemed nice and honestly very comforting. She did an internal ultrasound right in her office and my husband was actually allowed to come in -if I wanted- and she explained everything she was looking at on the screen. She told me that there was still some tissue left over and that she wanted to try and do a flush with Promentrium and she also wanted to refer me for a Sonogram to get a better look at things. I explained that I had never had one and she explained that, I would take a medication before hand that would prevent any infection an hour before the proceeder and then at the time she would insert a solution that would light up my uterus so, she could get a look at everything.

After meeting with her, we went for blood work -both myself and my husband-, now my husband has not had blood work since he was little and HATES needles so this was kinda fun, knowing it was his turn for pain. 😂 They took 15 things of blood from me that day and 10 from my husband. They were great and gave us orange juice and a cookie and I said "I feel like I just donated blood!" as a joke since that is what they give you at a blood donation clinic.

Afterwards, we were taken with the nurse to discuss everything that the clinic offers and the schedule breakdown and other tests that the Dr. wanted us to go for. I was given a ton of paper work and the prescription and we were told that she would see me after my Sonogram and when they get all the results.

My Infertility Journey...So Far..

I wanted to talk about something that is very hard to talk about. A lot of people judge me because they think “oh but you have 3 children, why the need for more!?” I simply say its truly my life and I feel as my journey for children are not done.

In my description i put that I have 3 beautiful girls, they are 8, almost 4, and soon to be 6. We have a normal but challenging lifestyle where my 8 year old has Autism & ADHD, and my almost 4 year old has a Development Delay which makes her like she’s 2.5. After having her in March of 2012 my husband and I decided we wanted another, just one more we said. So, in June 2012 we started our journey TTC #4 well my periods were very irregular and never came back till January 2013. Doctors couldn’t give me answers as to why and not only did they come back but they didn’t come for 60 days apart. I truly thought it was my fault like I was doing something wrong. So, I started to eat right and dropped the pop and hoped for a miracle. In September 2013 my periods returned to normal every 35 days. I was so excited and thought now we can try. In November 2013 I got my first positive test only to find out a few weeks later nothing was growing and it was my first chemical pregnancy. I was devastated. I went home and went through every baby thing I owed and didn’t need I purged and gave or sold to ones that needed it. My husband just didn’t understand. He was confused and angry, and after my next cycle we were able to TTC again. A year later we conceived again, in November and that was also short lived because again, a week or so later I started bleeding and cramping. The pain was unbearable and I found myself having yet another chemical miscarriage. At this point, I knew we needed help. We had also moved twice in the short period of time and my body was tired and I was tired…. I just didn’t understand! AGAIN! I said to the ER doctor. AGAIN!! Why!? Why is this happening to us. We have three girls and now I can’t have an actually pregnancy. All he could say was I am sorry and sent us on our merry way. So, we took a month break because I needed it. Our families weren’t really in the know of what was going on because they all believed we have enough on our plate why add so, we kept it a secret and with no one to talk to was becoming really hard for the both of us to handle.

January 2015

It’s been almost 3 years and no baby. This is the longest we have ever gone without a little one. I felt like the baby phase was pretty much done for us and I was losing hope. So, I made an appointment to see my OB that delivered my two youngest girls and with the last bit of hope, I put my trust in her. I took the 2 hour drive down to see her and explained my story of the last 3 years and 2 miscarriages. She told me that I probably was ovulating properly and she said I can help you. She gave us Femara a fertility drug that helped with ovulation. She explained to me how to use it and that it would cost out of pocket but at this point, I didn’t care. Anything, anything that could help us. She also explained that I needed to start to chart my cycle and test using an ovulation tester. So, I prepared myself since I was already half done my cycle in February.

March 2015

My first cycle on Femara was horrible, the drug made me the most bitches, moodiest person. I couldn’t stand people, I couldn’t stand being me! but we got through it and I actually ovulated CD19 I saw that smiley face and then came the TWW, it didn’t work. I didn’t conceive but she told us that it may take 2 maybe even 5 cycles to get pregnant. So, off we went again.